Surplus to Requirements

Looking round this house of mine

Every item tells a story

Even down to the rolling pin

It all can be quite boring

The flower pots and picture frames

That hang upon my walls

Each ornament or luxury items

I can recall them all

My comfy couch and super king bed

Well, that was such a blessing

To have all that space, to sleep on the edge

And no I am not messing

The mattress is made of memory foam

And is oh so comfortable

We didn’t bank on it remembering our weight

And in the middle, leaving a massive lump!

It now resembles the Sahara

So barren with a big sand drift

And trying to change the bloody sheets

Is comparable to climbing Everest

The Kitchen scales, pots and pans

The trendy arty vase

Long have served this woman’s needs

Even when I couldn’t be arsed

So many things just gather dust

And others are stuffed in drawers

It’s doesn’t stop me going out

And bringing home some more.

Some would call it clutter, or say that I’m a hoarder

They say its best when the shops are closed

But they forget, I use mail order

I simply cannot help but buy

The things that I like to buy

Some things are very pretty

And some have made me cry

Like the Dyson bloody hoover

It cost a small fortune

I could be sat drinking in Marbella

Listening to lovely some Spanish tunes

The husband, he insisted

On getting that bloody gadget

I was happy with the broom

And spend the money on foreign magnets

It’s only now, we’re selling up

And heading somewhere new

It’s all about downsizing, but

To where, I haven’t got a clue

I want to go somewhere warm

And feel the sun upon my skin

But that would mean leaving behind

My mates and all my kin

They all moved on and are on that Wheel

The treadmill that’s called life

I’ve been there, seen it done it, and now

I want to be a fun filled wife

Pay a little attention to me and my old man

Time to relax a little bit

And do it while we can

So what do we do with all this stuff

Now surplus to requirements

Bin it, bag it, chuck it out

Or take the clutter with us

It doesn’t really matter

It served us for our needs

Just the family photos

Are the things that we should keep

And pack a bag and travel light

And see what we can find

It’ll be a great adventure

A Christopher Columbus kind

Who knows what we’ll find when we get there

Or what we might discover

But what a team we will be

Like Mel Gibson and Danny Glover

I’ll drive him nuts with my crazy ways

And he’ll keep me in check

Steer me clear of the charity shops

And I’ll say ‘what the heck’

We’ll buy us a brand new mattress

No memory foam sight

No humps or bumps between us then

Just a sweet and peaceful night