60th eve

So tomorrow is my birthday. 60. Sometimes I think it must be a mistake, that they lied about my age, but my birth certificate confirms it. Yep, definitely 60. Inside, however, I still feel like i’m in my 30’s !

The photo, bottom left, is when I was in my 30’s, taken with my best friend, who is 4 days older than me.

So this is my birthday eve. Tomorrow my family are all arriving to help me celebrate. Kids, grandkids, brothers and sisters in law. It will be nice to have them surround me and celebrate with me.

I wanted to surround my friend. That’s why there are so many selfies in the photo. She is not here . She was not here to celebrate her 60th birthday because she passed away when she was 56.

I was sad on Monday, her 60th birthday. I was sad because she wasn’t here. I was sad on Tuesday and every day since she died, I am sad that she is not here. That is grief.

Grief, stays with you. You are not stuck, stuck back in the time that you lost the loved one. You do go on with life. You learn to live with the grief, but some days it comes and slaps you hard in the stomach. Other days it is there, just simmering in the back ground. Big milestones, in particular, it will slap you hard across the face. Grief is the reminder of the love, that is why it stays.

I cannot celebrate my birthday tomorrow without thinking about or acknowledging that my best friend wasn’t here to celebrate hers.

I am blessed and grateful that I am here to celebrate my birthday with my family. Truly, that is a wonderful blessing.

I still think they lied about my age! How can I be 60. When I was 30, 60 was ‘old’. I am not old. Perish the thought! Maybe I will be old when I am 80. I live in hope to see !

To my fellow ‘oldies’, don’t listen to them, 60 is the new fabulous!!!