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Daily Life Experiences Blog

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Hi, this is my first time blogging, well actually its my second.  I started on a different site, but felt it wasn’t quite the right one, so here I am, beginning again with wordpress.  Please be patient with me, it may take a while for me to get to grips with it.  That is the thing about starting something new, it is both exciting, but also nerve wracking and can even be a little bit complicated.    (I will seek professional advice….. I promise) but in the meantime, if you see stuff that shouldn’t be here (like instructions how to build the blog) remember, I’m a learner and have a bit of sympathy.  Just think of a time when you had to start something new, like learning to drive  a car.  It’s kind of a bit like that for me now, trying to understand this format, but I will get there in the end.  In the meantime, enjoy and have a great day!

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Children

Children’s laughter makes me smile, the sound of high pitched happy screams bounce off my ear drums. Igniting a quick beat of pleasure in my pulsating weary heart. It brings me back. It makes me remember , to a time I never want to forget, but at the same time lost in an amnesiac trance, barely aware that I was ever there.

Lost between 2 worlds. Existing for the sake of it, the perverse irony of my being. How I should come to love when born from something far more depraved. How I could sense distain, with your wayward glance. Your tender less touch and your prickly tongue.

Yet I am locked in, with no where and nothing to run to. But I have everything I ever wanted burried deeply in my mind. You cannot touch that. You cannot take that. It is not yours to take. You will not succeed….

Happy smiles. Warming soft breaths nuzzled in my neck. Softly , calmly yet frantically seeking out your nourishment. A satisfied sigh, a relaxed and trusting grip as you find your source.

The bond so strong, the love unyielding yet I must betray you. I do not have a choice. They will take you. You are to be their trophy, their prize. Their decency in their evil trade.

Their cloth is the cloak of the devil himself. Ever etched and engraved in my heart, in my mind, under my skin. My flesh is your flesh. My blood is your blood. My love is everlasting. You are my life and I live in hope eternal, that well meet again.

Children in the street playing, skipping, crying, laughing. I ache for you. My every waking minute is consumed, thoughts of you.

My belief, my wish, my dream, my love, my life, my innocence, my shame, my heartbreak, my loss, my light, my dark, my smile, my anger my utter devastation. I could not, was allowed not, to keep you.

Their skirts swishing off the parquet floor. Their chain-like beads dangle like the hangmans noose. Their footsteps quicken, grow louder. They’re on their way.

I wake again and again over and over. I’ll never forget. I search among the faces. I curse their command. Cold as the statue they adore. Hearts made of stone.

Suffer little children for they have spoken…. suffer little children, so many hearts broken.

© carrie sherbourne and Relay shun sips – itsjustnoteasy.com Blog, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Carrie sherbourne and itsjustnoteasy.com Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

The 12th of never

If you had a wish what would it be
‘to see her face’, you said to me
I eyed you closely in the mirror
My heart aching, your love I consider
But a boy, just 7 years old
Passed around from pillar to post
A wand I wish I had to hand
Create a magic,make true your command
The smell of leather, the engine hums
We drive, I watch, as you think of mum
In your heart she never leaves
It’s filled with love and hopeful dreams
That one day you can be back together
Someday soon, not the 12th of never
A smile you wear upon your face
You’re eyes conceal what you have to face
To stay with strangers, no blood no bond
You must conform, react, respond
A little bed in a large room
‘can I go home, can I go soon?
A familiar smell reminds you of her
You can’t go yet, we have to defer
It’s for the best, you must understand
No way, not now, can you live with your mam
Its not your fault, you did nothing wrong
I know it’s not easy, you feel you belong
Not here with us, though we keep you safe
But there in the chaos, that familiar place
One day we hope things will be better
We don’t expect that you should forget her
But keep her there in that heart of yours
And we’ll pray together that it won’t be so raw
The hurt, the pain, the sense of loss
Yes you are safe, but what is the cost
Scared in your mind and out of your wits
We’ll help you get through it, bit by bit
One day I hope that we’ll get you back home
But until that day, together well roam
It’s all ok, cry if you must
One day you’ll know,in us you can trust
It must be hard, I cannot conceive
A separated child, who can he believe
No-one can tell him, how to feel in his heart
It’s broken, it’s damaged, it’s falling apart
But soften the blow, we’ll try our best
To help you along and aide in your quest
Believe me though, I know it’s true
Your mam also loves and misses you
It’s not her fault, she just couldn’t cope
It was just too much, out of her scope
She’ll get some help and learn the skills
And slowly learn a new life to build
And one day soon you’ll be together
no Not today, not the 12th of never……

© carrie sherbourne and Relay shun sips – itsjustnoteasy.com Blog, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Carrie sherbourne and itsjustnoteasy.com Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Time

Time to wake from the slumber

Yawn and stretch, and check your number

Time to eat, time to go

Time to learn, time to grow

Time for work, time for bed

Time to go where you are lead

Time for work, time for school

Time to do something cool

Time do a chore or two

Time to spend time with you

Time for me to work it out

Time to scream, time to shout

Time to laugh, time to cry

Time to sulk and wonder why

Time to feel sadness and pain

Time to start to live again

Time to think, and check the past

Time to walk, be free at last

Time for fear, the net is gone

Time for love, you are the one

Time to know love starts with you

Time to try pastures new

Time for sorrow, time for tears

Time wondering, where are those years

Time to to clean, to mop and wipe

Time to wonder, what is this life

Time to stop, to breath and see

Time for you, them, and me

Time for something and nothing at all

Time to dance, time to fall

Time to be quiet, to think and ponder

Time to cherish, time to wonder

Time for time to make it happen

Time to know what is your weapon

Time for calm, time for peace

Time to let the beast release

Time for today, it’s all that’s promised

Time to embrace opportunities missed

Time to know that time will stop

Time for redemption to stay on top

Time is time, it will carry on

Time infinite after we’ve gone

© carrie sherbourne and Relay shun sips – itsjustnoteasy.com Blog, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Carrie sherbourne and itsjustnoteasy.com Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

The other side of ‘bringing it home’

So it begins, the cheers, the anticipation, the trepidation, the wanting and wanton. The two sides. Your side, my side, anything but that side.

Neighbours, friends, enemies, nay sayers, people, sheeple, men, women and children. Hoping and praying, some that it will, others that it wont ‘come home’.

‘We wont hear the last of it’ some say. ‘I’d just like to see the other side have a chance’. ‘Their media always big them up, it just gets on my nerves’. ‘Anyone but England, I couldn’t bear it if they won’. Just a few of the comments I hear constantly at this crucial stage of the world cup, from this island of Ireland.

I hear from liverpool supporters, man u supporters, Chelsea, Everton and Man City. What a pity, I think. A pity that there is still such a (not so friendly) divide when it comes to the England team.

What ever the reason, whatever the excuse, I cannot but feel sorry, for you. Sorry that your history is still your present. Sorry that your influence has probably been drilled into you from school, parents, grand parents, perhaps.

Maybe your real self wants to cheer for your neighbour, your current neighbour, not your historical neighbour. The one where your Irish football players go join your neighbours’ football teams so they can fulfil their dreams of being a professional footballer.

Maybe one day your sons will want to play too. What conflict will they feel in order to please their parent whilst denying their dream.

Who is the ‘baddie’ now. Dont we enjoy trade, dont we enjoy English T.V ? Gone are the days of just 2 channels (thankfully). Dont we enjoy tourism to boost our economy from so many of them damn English!

If a child does something wrong and the adult over steps the mark in their punishment, who is wrong? The adult screams and shouts and condems the child and holds a grudge until it seeps into his very bones with anger, and so he lashes out. Is it still the child’s ‘fault’ for being naughty in the first place?

A horrendous past, a horrendous history can only heal with forgiveness. Forgivness of others and of ourselves.

I hate to see hatred, for all it does is create hatefulness. And hatefulness creeps and seeps,and in the end destroys. It destroys relationships, it destroys friendships it destroys joy.

What joy it would be if we could celebrate if England won tonight and our neighbours could rejoice in that fact.

Someone said on the radio today that the Irish dont need a reason to celebrate anything. Ive seen that, they can for the most part be fun, have the craic, celebrate wins and even losses.

That is why as a girl born in England to 100 % Irish parents, grandparents and generational Irish heritage, I feel sorry for those of you, who cannot or will not or feel they should not celebrate if England ‘bring it home’, especially those that support English clubs.

Of course its your right, your privilege and your choice as it is mine to choose to not be defined by past history.

The soldier

Happy days filled with laughter

A time gone by, there was disaster

Crawling, dragging across the floor,

Not me, not now, not anymore

Squeals of delight as freedom calls

No longer chained in hazardous walls

Normal life no bombs no blasts

It’s not my job, it’s in my past

I watch the world in civy street

Normal faces i come to meet.

Walking, driving, dashing around

I keep my feet firmly on the ground

An accidental shove or push

I feel the blood through my veins, rush

Its all ok, just stay calm

No need to fret, there is no harm

Hurry, I rush back to my beauty

No more orders, no more duty

What now for me, when all is done?

No more use for a grenade or gun

What will I hold in these hands of mine?

A different peace, more simple and kind.

A soldier I was, driven by orders

Peace or power, protect our borders

Now I am but another man

Where do I belong, in no mans land?

The screams the crys the shrieks the laughs

They’re jumbled up, and crossing paths

Happy, sad, content or sorrow

Ive no idea how i’ll face tomorrow

Ive walked away from that hazardous time

Now to tell my traumatic mind

Its ok now, it is all in the past

But memories like that, are made to last

© carrie sherbourne and Relay shun sips – itsjustnoteasy.com Blog, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Carrie sherbourne and itsjustnoteasy.com Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

My shoes

The crunch of the sand beneath my feet

I feel them sink in the soft damp grain, while the salty water sweeps over, and splashes up my calf

The wind blows through my hair and whips it back from my face

I keep walking at steady pace, my mind filled with thoughts…. thoughts of you

I cannot but wonder if all is well, and as i do, i feel my heart swell.

Children playing, digging deep, the roar of laughter, interrupts my thoughts and I want to remain

In this moment, the twilight sky, the salty fresh smell, as my feet continue, leading the way

Pounding and sinking as they go , to somewhere, yet nowhere, this I know

The squawk of the gull, as it swoops then ascends, alone in its quest, it has no friends

Still i continue, my heart beating fast, then suddenly i stop, I’ve arrived at last

Conclusions they come, sometimes good sometimes bad. Nevertheless its an answer whether happy or sad

Wonder i must as I turn around, again my feet, they pound the ground

Go from my head, it no use to me, to wonder and hope of what it could be

Over the dunes, the sun sets bright red

A reminder of words, bygone days, once said

Empty and futile, yet once so sincere

But its only me now, and my shoes that are here

Words they are so easy to string

Along with a kiss, an embrace and a ring

Where are you though. As the waves crash the strand, not here with me holding my hand

Alone I must go and keep moving on

For it’s beauty, it’s life and i know I have won

Sing the song of the sweethearts desire and wrap up the thoughts that once would conspire

Futile and empty, they mean nothing now

I walk and I walk in the crunch of the sand

No man, child or beast to tell or demad

© carrie sherbourne and Relay shun sips – itsjustnoteasy.com Blog, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Carrie sherbourne and itsjustnoteasy.com Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Waiting….

The hum of the engine purring and whirring

People pass by oblivious to me sitting there, waiting.

Spokes on tyres like a kaleidoscope making patterns- seems like an optical illusion

The curve of the bridge, traffic slowing going over, to finally stop at the command of the red light

Life all round, busy moving

A dog and his master walk swiftly in front of my view

A couple, holding hands…. huh Love, hope it lasts

A big jeep comes closer, a tiny woman steps out… dressed like a city girl, no muck about

The shiny motorbike and men clad in leather, they must be hot, it’s balmy weather

Still I wait to make my next move

Take a sigh, a deep breath, close my eyes, eager and ready

No more waiting….. it’s time to go

© carrie sherbourne and Relay shun sips – itsjustnoteasy.com Blog, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Carrie sherbourne and itsjustnoteasy.com Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content