Guilty

for all the hard working mothers, trying to get through the day

underwater photo of woman wearing green and black dress

I watch what you say, without any words.  As you hurry around in the morning rush.  Busy you are, throwing words in the air, gathering the goods, with  eyes that  just stare.

‘Hurry up, you say, there’s so much to do, feeding and dressing, there’s more than just you.  In and out and up and down, running around like a circus clown.

Sorting the breakfast, the clothes and the bags, while you  are rushing, everyone else lags.

Inside your head you want to scream, Guilty you feel, amongst your team.

Heart is pounding, head it hurts, five minutes peace, is what you deserve.

Guilty you feel for rushing them out, a smile on your face, as you look at their pouts.

Drive them to school, the traffic is mad,  their fighting and arguing, it makes you feel bad.

‘For goodness sake, give it a rest’, you shout at them, as they protest

Guilty you feel, you’ve done it again, raised your voice and now you feel mean.

Finally, you drop them at the gate, the school bell rang, they are late.

Guilty as charged, you hurry them out, it’s all your fault, there is no doubt

The silence is golden, no, pure bliss, Guilty you feel, for enjoying this

Home to the washing, the cleaning, the mess.  You want to lay down and get a rest

Can’t do that, too much to do, the shopping, the cooking, the ironing too.

plates and bowls  spilt milk on the table, head is banging, you feel unstable

‘I hate this mess’ you think to yourself  as you pick up a toy and place back on the shelf

you sit on the sofa, and look around, how life has changed, it’s so profound

It’s  really not like you thought it would be, and now you feel guilty, for what you  see

You look at the photos on the wall, hanging there proudly in the hall,

Your heart fills with love, you want to cry,  such overwhelm, you cannot deny

Of course it’s not perfect, it never will be, no mother on earth, can feel guilt free

Mother nature herself can brew up a storm, but beauty will balance any forlorn

the beauty of love held in your heart is always a mothers’ guilty start

To your child you will be enough, learn to take the smooth and the rough

Nothing on earth can replace your love and that is something to be guilty of

Be proud of your guilt, it means you that you care, start again tomorrow, guilt free if you dare.

 

 

 

In mind or in action, there is a reaction, in thinking or doing, there is always pursuing. What is it we seek, evoke or conspire, feelings of guilt, often transpire !

 

 

C

 

 

 

 

 

Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

Author: itsjustnoteasy

Hi, I am a 50 something stay at home mother, grandmother and daughter of elderly (ish) parents. I do however, volunteer twice a week in a charity shop, mind grand children on occasion and of course do any other running around required by extended family. Prior to being a stay at home mum, I have worked at many different jobs, changed career a few times and gathered lots of stories along the way, which I hope you will enjoy as we begin our new relationship. I hope I will be able to entertain, engage and enlighten you, if only a small bit. Life is short, so lets have some fun. Looking forward to getting up and running (metaphorically speaking of course) as I have no intention of running anywhere! Perish the thought!! Thanks for stopping by, Carrie x

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