I watch what you say, without any words. As you hurry around in the morning rush. Busy you are, throwing words in the air, gathering the goods, with eyes that just stare.
‘Hurry up, you say, there’s so much to do, feeding and dressing, there’s more than just you. In and out and up and down, running around like a circus clown.
Sorting the breakfast, the clothes and the bags, while you are rushing, everyone else lags.
Inside your head you want to scream, Guilty you feel, amongst your team.
Heart is pounding, head it hurts, five minutes peace, is what you deserve.
Guilty you feel for rushing them out, a smile on your face, as you look at their pouts.
Drive them to school, the traffic is mad, their fighting and arguing, it makes you feel bad.
‘For goodness sake, give it a rest’, you shout at them, as they protest
Guilty you feel, you’ve done it again, raised your voice and now you feel mean.
Finally, you drop them at the gate, the school bell rang, they are late.
Guilty as charged, you hurry them out, it’s all your fault, there is no doubt
The silence is golden, no, pure bliss, Guilty you feel, for enjoying this
Home to the washing, the cleaning, the mess. You want to lay down and get a rest
Can’t do that, too much to do, the shopping, the cooking, the ironing too.
plates and bowls spilt milk on the table, head is banging, you feel unstable
‘I hate this mess’ you think to yourself as you pick up a toy and place back on the shelf
you sit on the sofa, and look around, how life has changed, it’s so profound
It’s really not like you thought it would be, and now you feel guilty, for what you see
You look at the photos on the wall, hanging there proudly in the hall,
Your heart fills with love, you want to cry, such overwhelm, you cannot deny
Of course it’s not perfect, it never will be, no mother on earth, can feel guilt free
Mother nature herself can brew up a storm, but beauty will balance any forlorn
the beauty of love held in your heart is always a mothers’ guilty start
To your child you will be enough, learn to take the smooth and the rough
Nothing on earth can replace your love and that is something to be guilty of
Be proud of your guilt, it means you that you care, start again tomorrow, guilt free if you dare.
In mind or in action, there is a reaction, in thinking or doing, there is always pursuing. What is it we seek, evoke or conspire, feelings of guilt, often transpire !
C
Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com
