Category: poems

Known to have invented/coined/minted over 400 new words, I have put a few (61) together here for my amusement. They are in italics… Enjoy

An Ode to fellow writers who like the written word

I may unearth a little tale that you may think absurd.

 I was born not far from Stratford, birthplace of the ‘Bard’

 easily accessible from my old front yard.

  Well to your amazement you might find this lacklustre

 that I wasn’t really into him, though he was an indistinguishable buster.

 Is not that he’s disgraceful, distrustful or distasteful,

 he simply wasn’t my cup of tea; I know I sound ungrateful.

 I’m not being sanctimonious or engaging in rumination

but I’d rather hang out, if I could with an ill-tempered Dalmatian.

 I know for others, he is king and really hard to rival

 but I think I’m more impartial to reading the blessed bible!

 I’ve been to his house a few times as I’m a little fascinated,

of course the tour began downstairs with a honey-tongued man named David

He had a hunchbacked girlfriend, she was quite a hoot

If she mixed up her lines however, he would show his hobnail boot!

David was ill-tempered this I can’t deny

I heard at their engagement, she had a little cry

I told her not to dwindle, that he was too domineering

she ought to end this courtship and audition for the ‘girl with the pearl earring’.

I don’t mean to be critical but some things just must be said

Of course its circumstantial but I’m not really that well read

I don’t think Shakespeare was fair-faced, he’d had a lot of exposure

but his plays and poems were equivocal in written word disclosure

In his pretty garden there is a rather large footfall

Of people listening to his ‘Acts’; not out playing football

I came across a fortune-teller, suffering with leaky gut

She was a promethean psychic, with a rather large butt

What she said was priceless, over credulous more like

So I became a little hostile and slept on it that night

I think she was a madwoman of that I must lament

she told me that Will Shakespeare, at night to her was sent

as he watched her undress he would have a fitful fap

and when he had quite finished, she would stand up and clap

You see why I am so fretful at this foulmouthed hot-blooded woman

Why would she just stand there while the Bard was ‘coming’

What an auspicious story, it makes me want to shudder

I think she must be lonely and her mind is in the gutter.

His house is quite a wonder, nook-shotten here and there

I even saw his marriage bed when I went upstairs

The guide was watching closely like useful watchdog

Ensuring nothing useless would get past the sod

So here I am to educate myself as I write this

My aim is to humor and of course to reminisce

Because I didn’t know that Shakespeare had invented so many words

I may not be reclusive, but I’m a fairly kickie-wickie girl

I hope you get your moneys-worth if you ever pay a visit

It’s really quite majestic for the time that was in it

I could keep going on and on for there are 422 words minted

By the zany William Shakespeare of which we have been gifted

I’m not one for braggartism so I really will end it here

Don’t be too cold-hearted let me hear some Cheer!

‘we are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with sleep’

The Tempest Act 4, Scene 1

Can I tell you that you’ve moved me

with your simple act of kindness

to walk around your garden

has done more than just to bind us

in uniting in our thanks and praise

it has opened up our eyes

to show that simple gestures

can bring the biggest surprise

a selfless man just ‘helping out’

as you done so in the war

but let me tell you Captain Tom

you have done so much more

you’ve shown a generation of what it means to count

a credit to society, of that there is no doubt

as for the doctors and nurses

for which you bravely fight

the amount you have raised in money terms

is truly an awesome sight

it started with a single step

and caused such a furore

i’d like to say ‘I salute you’

Sir Captain Thomas Moore

I truly hope your birthday

gets the celebration it deserves

your name will be in history books

and forever be preserved

As for your family, a pride they surely feel

and the people who got behind you

it really is surreal

So a round of applause for this great man

and those who have donated

putting your money where your mouth is

without feeling obligated

and thanks to all the medical

and other front line staff

we are so very humbled

as we watch you walk your path

lets hope when this is all over

and we cast a grateful net

of love, of grief, yet hope and peace

lest we forget