Words unspoken Stuck in my chest Heartbroken Sting in my eye Wet rolls down my cheeks Heartbroken much, unable to speak The time was today I knew it was coming Still not prepared Arguments going around in my head What about this or let’s try that I’m sorry she said, he’s just too bad I feel it crack and break in two My heart, It’s full of love for you But jack, my boy, you gave us joy As you leave us, to run and roam free We love and thank you for your loyalty Off you go To doggy heaven Heartbroken are we But you’ll never be forgotten
The bench it has a year round view As it stares out at the sea Taking in the memories Of all that it can see It never fails, in fine details Whether big or small Memories thought long since gone, now can be recalled A discreet yet public kind of voyeur Where people sit and rest a while, as if they had been lured And if you look upon the bench Is usually an older crowd Their mind still full of youth With a body that’s let them down But when I sit upon the bench Looking out to sea I remember all the times that you too sat here with me This bench is for your honour It has an engraved plaque But how I wish we were young again And I would have you back.
She is, greatness, powerful, majestic She is calm, soothing, raging She is roaring, still, crushing She is open, nourishing healing She is vast, she is essential She is mother Where life began She endured She failed She tried She loved She is strength Circumstance gives rise to context Resilience gives rise to survival She is all things Wonderful and despairing She is stuck, she is free She is you, she is me She is us She envelops us She is mother
Climbing through the cavity Pulling cable A clostrphobe in the making Still, it must be done Connections Power on New light on the horizon Sweat and toil Back is aching Kango, breaking mortar Splints break and fall Bounce off my face like kisses Tiny scratches Reminders of what it is all for Your faces appear in the wall I smile, determined to carry on Devoted father Never falter Duty bound, honoured What better purpose is there? Hands blistered Heart broken the cord is strong No minute wasted I plough on, for you My loves, My life My reason for living To see you smile, hear your laughter To save your hurt Absent father Connected always Til I take my last breath It was always for you
I noticed that my dog peed, as I walked up the hall
There ran a little puddle to see, for one and for all
I felt a little angry that he would do such a thing
Then I thought of all the joy, this little mutt does bring
He’s stinky at the best of times, he’s getting old and frail
Always there though, by my side, his loyalty doesn’t fail
I know his time will soon be up, 6 months, maybe 6 more
I mop up his pee with paper towels and spray the tiled floor.
Not really a major disaster, in the cold light of day
One day when I am old, I too may pee this way
Not in the hall of course, by cocking up my leg
Maybe sitting in the chair or in my bed instead
Whom will I anger, and what would they do to me
If such an accident should occur, will they help me keep my dignity?
There are some things we cannot control, especially as we age
So what’s the point in giving out, or expressing with such rage
Surely that is the time, when patience is required
No one likes or enjoys the effects, when body parts retire
It’s not that it’s on purpose, I see it in his face
He couldn’t hold it any longer, it’s not really a disgrace
I leaned down and patted his head,
‘oh jack, it’s all ok. Don’t worry about this little puddle, it may be me one day’
physical or emotional, pain is pain. How we manage it is our choice. Do we need or want to be fixed or do we want to discover, by ourselves and manage ourselves, to see who we are all by ourselves?
According to Dorothy, ‘there’s no place like home’. For me, that was true. I had to leave my home to go to another one when I was 14. I was still with my family but life as I knew it was now different and I didn’t like it very much. I wrote about that experience,and remembered it like it was yesterday.
Life is hard for a teenager anyway, it’s especially hard if a ‘trauma’ is added to the mix. I like to call it my trauma, because it changed me and opened my eyes.
I survived, of course, and ultimately became a strong independent woman. I have tried to instill that into my 5 daughters. I want them to be strong independent women and know what to accept and tolerate and when to walk away.
The relationships we have with our parents, our teachers, our siblings, our love interests and most importantly, ourselves will be mixed with the good the bad and the in-between.
As we grow and develop, as we face, fight or accept our challenges, our successes and our traumas, we begin to find out, what we are really capable of. What we can or cannot cope with. We discover how motivated and how resilient we are. We would hope that we can cope.
There will be times we may want to give up, give in or give out or cop out, but what we really need to do is push on, get up, move forward, one step at a time. One day at a time and keep learning, keep developing and keep building. If it feels scary, do it. If you think you can’t do it, stand back, take a breath and try anyway, you may just surprise yourself.
Each stage of life is fabulous, daunting, exciting, traumatic, hopeless and hopeful. The thing is to not give up, but to embrace each stage. Face and embrace each good, bad or traumatic event and learn from it. We, none of us have to be defined by an event or circumstance because in the end, we have a choice. A choice in how to deal and manage whatever is going on in our lives, by the way we view it and by the way we decide to proceed with it.
Home can be a place, a person or a feeling. For me, it’s a feeling of belonging, of fitting in and being accepted for who I am. Home is where there is a settled heart and a contented mind.
Relay what is important, shun what isn’t and ship out and set sail to something new when all seems hopeless. Seek and find your best relay- shun- ship as you go forward making relationships…..
Relay shun ships 
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