Currently I have 4 grand children aged 1, 2, 3 and almost 10 years old. I love them all to pieces and would do anything for them. The only thing I don’t really want to do is to be their #childminder……. I can hear all the sighs, tut tuts and even cheers of agreement and understanding. Not wanting to be their childminder does not equal ‘I don’t love them or have fun with them. It just means I want to hold on to my sanity and waining energy levels a little bit longer. It means I want to keep my house in one piece, a little bit longer (I have just spent a fortune redecorating)! It also means if I want to spend time pursuing things for myself, like spending a fortune redecorating the house or painting (art not walls) or just sitting on my arse enjoying some peace and quiet, I think that is my prerogative. After all, I have already been to that mad crazy world before, raising their mothers. I know what is involved…… the mess, the winging,the shitty nappies, the ‘no I don’t like that’ and the ‘no I don’t need to use the potty’, then two minutes later proceed to pee themselves. And what about when I need to use the toilet and they want to come with you, really, I just want to pee in peace and in private. ‘No darling, nanny won’t be long, now you stay there and don’t move’! Try as you might to force that wee out as fast as you can, it’s seems never ending, especially when you suddenly hear a ‘thud’ or their footsteps on the stairs. You are of course, thinking all kinds of craziness like they are going to/have fallen and have broken their arm or worse their neck and how do you explain that to their mother! So no I can live without that kind of drama on a daily basis thank you. I am already at risk of heart attack, having moved into that time of my life and crossed into menopausal territory.
You see I looked after my first Grandchild when he came along. His mother was still in college and of course, she needed to finish her studies and I was happy to oblige, he being the first and such a sweetie. When she was pregnant with grandchild number 2, some years later, it dawned on me then, that if I mind this child too, my other daughters, would in the future, when they started to produce, say ‘you looked after hers, so why won’t you look after mine’ if I said no to them. It could be a disaster as I have FIVE daughters. I could see my life going from rearing children, to rearing more children. when would i get to have a life????
I do, however, help out, you know whenever they need it, which at this moment in time is every time their mothers go to work !……. Thank God they are only part time workers.
The fab thing about being a Nanny is there is a huge plus side. Like going to places where it’s really just for kids but you like to participate too. The park for instance. My eldest grandson loves the swings, funnily enough, so do I. He can swing himself now which means I no longer have to push him, at his squeals and request of ‘higher higher’. I can hop on the swing next to him and have a competition to see who can go the highest. Now, if I went there on my own, without a grandchild, swinging away to my hearts content, people would be ringing for the men in white coats.
My other favourite thing to do in the park is to go on the roundabout. The faster the better. Just before Christmas we had a family day out, which ended at the park. Not only did I get a whip lash from the zip wire, I almost dropped my grand daughter in the process, who was clinging onto me for dear life as I was also clutching her as tightly as I could with one arm, the other holding on to said zip wire. Next stop was the round about. All four grandchildren, me and the son in law hopped on, while my husband gently turned us. ‘Faster faster’, I squeeled, as he turned and turned some more. Thoroughly enjoying the fun of it, I look down and see the children getting paler and paler with a look of utter ‘ what the fuck is going on’. You know, the same look you have when you catch your children or grand children covered in sudocrem, or paint or poo cos you left them on their own for two minutes while you nipped to the toilet!
I love the fact that I can play silly games with them and make up silly songs and stories. One grand child I have just loves saying things like, Mr poo poo head, or farty pants and even Mr bum crack. I have NO IDEA where he gets it from 🙂
One thing I have always done is sang to my own children and my grand children. Especially at nap or bed time. They all love it and they all have a special song. Yesterday whilst looking after my granddaughter I decided to walk around the garden with her, to sing her to sleep and get some fresh air. The sun was shining but it was a cold, fresh day. She was suitably wrapped up as was I with my nipple hat (my daughter calls it that because it has a pom pom), my pj’s and my fleece. I start to feel a slight bit of frostbite nipping at my toes as I go around the yard, due to the fact that my slippers have holes in the soles. I was kind of hoping for new ones at Christmas, but alas, they did not arrive.
My little dog follows me everywhere, and as it was still early (ish), his poop had not yet been scooped from the yard. So navigating, successfully, the wheels to avoid going through the said poop, and being so engrossed in performing ‘you are my sunshine’ I accidentally stood in it just before turning the corner!
My mother used to always say ‘a rolling stone gathers no moss’. She would say this because I was always moving or trying new things. I would tell her ‘I don’t want to gather any moss, it is yucky, green and fuzzy. Well as you can see from the photo, my wall has gathered the disgusting yucky, green fuzzy moss as it has not been painted for 2 years. Also just on the ground by the wall is said yucky moss. On this occasion however, I was especially pleased that we did, in fact ,have such an unpleasant looking growth, as it did serve a purpose in enabling me to wipe off the equally disgusting dog shit from my slipper with a hole in!
Note to self…… buy new slippers
Relay shun ships 
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