Back to School

For some it is a great sense of relief to get back to school after the long summer holidays of missing friends and routine. For others it is a sense of dread, angst and trepidation, knowing they are going back to face the bullies. So what can be done to ensure that our children are safe when they leave home to go to school?

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I remember when I was young thinking that the school summer holidays were way too long. I went to school in the UK until I was 14 and we had 6 weeks off in the summer. SIX weeks, wow that was such a long time. I loved school and I missed my friends and classmates over the holiday period. I couldn’t wait to go back to the ritual of the routine, and slot back in again to student life. It was a happy time. That was until I moved school because we moved to another country. I was made to feel unwelcome almost immediately, mainly by a particular teacher. I was different you see. I spoke with a different accent, an English one, a very unwelcome one, back in the ’70’s in rural Ireland. Even though my parents and grandparents and entire set of ancestors were Irish, I was an outcast from the offset.

I had a hard time a lot of the time. It was bad enough trying to readjust to my new surroundings, my new home, a new country, away from my friends and all that was familiar to me without the added dread of going to school to be ridiculed, ignored, picked on and verbally insulted. It was outright bullying. It gave me feelings that I didn’t care to have. It made me feel sad, bad, ostracised, unwelcome, angry. I went from loving school to dreading school. I went from thinking six weeks summer holidays was way too long to 3 months in Ireland being not nearly enough. Looking back, the only thing I am thankful for is that back then, when I got home, I was safe. Home was my sanctuary. Home was where I did not have to worry, I did not have to be on high alert, I would not be tormented there.

These days it is a different story for kids going back to school. This is the technocological age of progress and ‘all things can be done in an instant’. The sad thing is, that goes for bullying too, and there is no escape, there is no sanctuary of home anymore. Why, because these days most of the school age population (secondary school) have mobile phones, have some form of social media, whether it is snap chat, facebook, instagram and some other things I haven’t even a clue what they are! The bullying does not necessarily stop at the school gate, or the school bus stop. It follows you home. It doesn’t stop. It can be constant. It is exhausting. It is often SILENT. It is ALWAYS dangerous. It gets into the mind and can be so destructive that some victims cannot cope. They may appear to be ‘functioning’ on the outside, but what is going on, inside, inside their heads. Do they have regular tummy ache? are they distracted, quiet, forgetful, preoccupied,  depressed, hiding in their room with their phone. Are they asking for more money? are they irritable, aggressive, weepy, off their food, having sleeping problems. Do they have unexplained bruises and pass it off as, ‘it happened in P.E’. Are some of their belongings missing, pens, bag, purse, books etc.  Are they making excuses for skipping school, lessons, homework.

All to often the problem is that bullying has not gone away.  Despite everywhere having an anti bullying policy.   Despite the fact that there is more awareness and education about bullying in the education system, it is still very prevalent today.  So what can be done if your child is being bullied or if you suspect your child is being bullied?  Talk.  Talk to them, talk to the school and if possible, talk to the person doing the bullying in a safe environment.  Often a bully has issues of their own, that they are finding difficult to deal with and so take it out on someone else – a ‘kick the cat’, sort of response and misplace their anger and frustration onto someone weaker, more vulnerable, an easy target  is the perfect option.

Monitor your child’s use on their phone.  Have strict rules around the phone and do not let it go into the bedroom with them.  Talk to them about keeping them safe and protected.  They are young and have young and immature and very impressionable minds.  You are their parent, you DO KNOW best.   If they need a phone to contact you, consider buying a handset that is NOT a smartphone.  Let home become their sanctuary.  Let home be their safe place.  Work on strategies that your child can use to help them protect themselves, to help them stand up for themselves and ultimately stand up to their bully.  A bully will soon tire,  if they are not getting anywhere with a someone they perceive to be weak, and leave them alone.

Out of all of the children I have had and looked after 2 were bullied at school and after school waiting for their bus.  Two children separated by  12 years in age, but both were 16 at the time of their bullying and assaults.  At the time of the first one, there was no such thing as social media, so she would come home and tell us what was happening and we dealt with it the best way we could and it was soon nipped in the bud.   Home was her safe place.     The second child that was bullied did have a phone at the time, but it was not a smart phone, so there was no social media bullying for her either.   We chatted about what happened.  We spoke about strategies and ways in dealing and coping with  the bullying and how to build up my child’s strength and resilience.  Not only to challenge herself but also to challenge her bully.  To stand up to her bully, no matter how scared she felt,  and let the bully know, in no uncertain terms,  that  the bullying behaviour was not acceptable and that there would be serious repercussions if it continued.  We were lucky,  in that it worked and the bullying stopped and my child’s confidence, resilience  and resolve grew stronger.

There are however, cases of bullying which have dire circumstances and ultimately very tragic ones.   I particularly remember the case of Phoebe Prince, the Irish girl who moved to America and was bullied so much she took her own life.    The only positive to come out of that tragic case is that the people who bullied her were held accountable and were charged and convicted of harassment and civil rights violations.  Stricter bullying laws were introduced also as a result.  Many more children, home and abroad, are victims of bullying and have also attempted or committed suicide.  Isn’t it time, we took stock, isn’t it time we did something more, especially as far as social media is concerned, to keep our children protected and safe.  They may look fine on the outside.  You may think they are just sullen, cranky teenagers, but maybe, there is something more going on.

It is very frustrating for parents who know something is going on but feel that they or their child is not being listened to or heard.  We have a crumbling and almost broken mental health service.  People are being left crippled with fear and anxiety over what can they do next.  They say it takes a whole village to raise a child, so we need to come together, as a community to help and support each other.  To help and support our vulnerable children.  To talk and keep talking to our children.  To reassure them, to empower them, to help them, even if it is they who are doing the bullying, understand why, get to the bottom of it.  Lets stop treating the symptoms of bullying, lets try to get to the root of it and eradicate it ….. for everyone’s sake.

 

 

https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/victims-of-bullying/

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/school-in-the-us-was-like-something-from-a-film-all-the-little-cliques-were-there-sister-of-bullying-victim-phoebe-prince-36068953.html

Hey You !

You don’t know it yet, but you are in for quite a ride and are going to hit a few bumps but…..

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I remember it well and to be honest, I wouldn’t want to be there again, it was an awful place to be, for me personally I mean. You have no choice, you have to go there too and you have to experience it for yourself to know how it will be for you, but let me tell you this. You will survive it, with the right set of skills, support, resources, stamina and true grit, you will get beyond it!

The first thing you will notice when you get there are the changes in your body, hairs sprouting out of places where they have no business being, spots appearing like they are in competition with the chicken pox, not to mention hair as greasy as fried chicken. The real killer, the mood swings. Anything ranging from sweet Shirley Temple to Cruella Deville in 0 to 60 seconds and to add insult to injury you will have no idea of who you are and will irrationally and radically search for your identity. A smooth ride it WILL NOT be. Attitude, Identity theft, extreme expression through clothes, music, rebellious behaviour, dieting, bingeing, smoking, drinking, sex and drugs, all there for the taking and risking. ‘Lead me not into temptation’ not for all of them anyway! It will get messy, it will noisy, it will get confusing, it will get depressing, it will be fun, it will be a complete contradiction and you will think you are IT at some stage and at some stage you will wish you could be a child again, or an adult and want to skip IT. IT is exhausting……. IT is THE TEENAGE YEARS….AHHHHH

Sure, there will be twists and turns, there will be bumps in the road, there will be times of pure exhilaration, there will be LOVE, there will be HEARTACHE, there will be moments of madness and moments of stillness, but you will have to go through it, so that you can come out the other side of it and find out who you are and what you are made of. The skills you will learn will be mind boggling. The skills your parents will learn will be eye opening…. who knew they could be so mean, strict, sarcastic, fierce BRAVE!

They have been there, seen it, done it, got the T Shirt. They rocked it. It was better in their day, simpler, kinder, cooler. The trouble now is, while they are battling with you and your tantrums, and your mood swings and your cheek and your pushing and prodding of their boundaries, they are most probably fighting their own battle and their own identity crises. The MENOPAUSE, (male and female). The changes in their body, the sweats, the forgetfulness – “sorry, who are you” they ask ” I have no idea” you reply. Mum’s boobs begin to droop causing her distress. Dads boobs begin to develop in a cruel twist to make mum feel less distressed. Muscle turns to flab and dad’s six pack inflates so he resembles buddha and mum has an uncanny resemblance to the michelin man.

While you are on the crest of the wave splishing and splashing and tumbling and flying to a newer fitter more confident version of you, they are well and truly slam dunked into the ocean of ‘What the hell is going on’. The dawning of realisation that ‘youth’ is soon to be leaving you and ‘youthfulness’ has well and truly over spilleth from them and they are heading towards a newer disturbing version of them!

So, hey you, be kind, be good, be healthy and wise, gather those skills, they are worth more than any money buys.

Be kind to your daughters, sons, mum’s and dad’s. The changes you’re all facing, is just a fad.

A phase, a lapse of time in space, try get through it, with dignity and grace. But if you can’t, that’s OK too, after all, it’s just the rebel in you!

© carrie sherbourne and Relay shun sips – itsjustnoteasy.com Blog, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Carrie sherbourne and itsjustnoteasy.com Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Two sides ?

Never judge a book by it’s cover is what they say and there are always two sides to a story, right? Or is it that it only begins with two sides ?

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‘You don’t look old enough’ is generally what people say when I tell them I have 4 grand children.  People are kind or say what they think you would like to hear.  We do it all the time, it just trips off the tongue, usually to make the receiver feel good, flattered and the giver feel appreciated, liked.  Sometimes, its just true!

I am certainly not too young to be a grandmother, being a 53 year old, but I do try to keep myself looking as well as possible.  I was married at 23 and had my first child at 24.  That was considerably old, if you compare it to when my own mother got married or indeed my grand mother.  In their day, 18 was a general ‘good age’ to be married by,  and have a baby within the first year.

These days lots of women are having careers before marriage and babies and lots are having babies from age 18, but without the marriage part.  My eldest was almost 19 having her first, not far off my mother’s age, when she had her first.  My mother was married, my daughter was not.  My daughter since married her childhood sweetheart and went on to have two further children with him and they are happy……. most of the time.

Can we be happy all of the time?  I think not.  I am married to my second husband for  23 years, love him dearly but at times could  quite happily commit murder.  We have, however, endured our ups and downs, swam rivers, climbed mountains and gotten over every bump in the road to arrive at a happy place together having raised our children.

Why couldn’t I have ‘endured’  my first marriage too? Met him aged 21, married him at 23, baby at 24, separated at 26.  We didn’t even get to a 7  year itch stage.  We had a grand total of 5 years, and did it all the right way round…. Met, bought house, got married, had baby and it all went wrong and no, no one else was involved, we just grew apart.  There was no real good cop bad cop, it just wasn’t ‘right’ and I guess I knew it never would be, so it was best all round, to walk away.

He will have his side, I will have my side, but then my daughter will have her side.  There can not be just two sides, can there?   What we do, as adults, will of course impact on the child, right?  It has to, it can’t but not impact, one way or another.  It will however, be up to the adults on whether that will be a good or bad impact, or a somewhere in between.

With all the best intentions in the world, there were times it was difficult.  Some of the times it was amicable, others, it was a battle of the wills.  I tried to never let it get in the way of her relationship with her father, no matter what I thought about him.  I always encouraged her to have a good relationship with him.     He loved her, as I did,  and she loved him and she loved me.  She was entitled to that.  I reasoned I wished her to grow up with two happy parents living apart, rather than two miserable parents living together.

The worst thing I could ever have said to him was that I was taking her away, to live, in another country.  I knew it would cut him in pieces as it would me if the shoe was on the other foot.    I cried at the thoughts of telling him, knowing how he would feel.  When I actually told him, I cried even more, after he had left my house.  She was 7 years old.  She wanted to ‘move’.  Did she know her mind well enough to know this, you might ask.  I asked myself the same question over and over again.

Of course, he took me to Court to try to stop it, as I knew he would and of course I couldn’t blame him. I would  have done the same if it were the other way round.    The funny thing about that was when I first ‘thought’ about moving to Ireland, I didn’t actually think I would, but because it was a thought,  I felt he ought to know.

Things of course turned fairly nasty, he was understandably upset, hurt and bitter.  I knew and understood that, but that all had an impact on our child and for the first time we found ourselves needing the courts to  ‘intervene’ .  I wanted to have the ‘choice’ to go back to my family in Ireland if I so chose in the future, even if it meant taking my child away from her father, as she too had expressed a wish live in Ireland.

She was 8 and a half when we moved and right up to the day of moving I asked her if she wanted to stay in the UK, so she could see her dad, as always,  I would unpack all the boxes and we would stay.   She said she loved him but wanted to move.

She is 29 now and though it was a very difficult time for her father, and of course I did feel a certain amount of guilt, I knew ultimately,  it was the right thing to do for us as a family.  What further made my mind up to actually move, was the amount of conflict between us that was generated from my first telling him of the ‘thought’ to go to finally being granted consent to go.    I was not trying to stop their relationship, indeed I still encouraged it and did so from the time we came,  in that she saw her father for half of all the holidays, and he could come see her whenever he wished,and ring her whenever he wished, which he did on a daily basis.

The distance between us turned out to be a good thing because the impact on our child was a positive one, in that she did not have to be caught between any crossfire.  She has loved living in Ireland and has had a nice life here.  She has continued to love her father and has never regretted moving here.    We will never know how things would have been had we stayed in the UK, but for our family, this had a positive impact.

The thing is with separation and family break down, even with the best will in the world, it is a very difficult road to navigate and know if you  are doing the right thing.  A child, however, must always be at the center of the situation.  If one or both of the  parents cannot reasonably  agree then of course, the courts will have to decide and in the meantime be very mindful of any impact and upset you are putting on the child in the middle of it all.

What’s your Talent?

Do you ever wonder what you are good at and if you don’t have a talent, does that mean that you are not good at anything? It was a thought that I pondered from a very young age.

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I remember being a small child at school and the teacher talking about having ‘A Talent’. Some people were putting their hands up, naming what they were good at, e.g. football, music, art, singing, dancing etc etc. I just sat there contemplating and wondering and finally, despairing that I didn’t in fact, have a talent.   I couldn’t have been any older than 7  or 8 years of age at the time.

For years it bugged me and nagged at me from somewhere in the back of my mind that I was talent – less!   Don’t get me wrong, I was OK at sport, particularly Hockey and Gymnastics.  I loved the latter but really disliked the former with a vengeance.  I was OK at Netball, but really liked the game and I was rubbish at music and art.  My art teacher in secondary school told me I was rubbish at painting but I did enjoy participating anyway.

Somewhere along the line, however, I had a belief that I could do anything.  I think by now I was much older, maybe in my 30’s or 40’s.  Not only did I believe I could do anything, I believed that everyone could do anything…… if they wanted to, really wanted to and were prepared to work hard for what it was, they wanted to achieve.

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Also as I got older I came to appreciate other things that were of no consequence to me when I was younger, like an appreciation for nice classical music, particularly the sound of the violin and composers like Mozart, Pachelbel, Bach and Vivaldi to name but a few.  When I was young, all I was interested in was Meatloaf, the Police, The Beetles and Elvis, to name but another few!

From one time frame to another something happened to me.  That something was called ‘life’.  Between childhood and adulthood I had experienced many different situations, and been exposed to lots of things, good, bad and indifferent.  The most profound of them all was becoming a mother.  This, after all, is the one thing, since being a child, that I always wanted to be.  This was and has remained, consistent.

Could  this have been my talent?  Was / am I any good at it?  Well my children would have to answer that, but I can confirm that I gave it all the time, all the effort, all the sacrifice, all the fight, all the love, including tough love and all the  part of me, that believed I was doing all the best for them.  I am still doing this and my efforts are looking pretty damn good on the grand scheme of things….. my children are fabulous, flawed, but fabulous and of them, I am proud.  I am proud because I watch them growing and developing and learning and doing and falling and getting up and going again, doing again, learning again, loving, forgiving and moving on and moving forward and succeeding and achieving.

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There are many famous artists out there, footballers, dancers, singers, musicians etc etc, but in my mind this is not what having a talent is.  Yes it is a skill, of course, but just because they are famous for it, doesn’t make our endeavours any less of a ‘talent’ and our eventual success at our ‘Talent’.

So for all those who think they don’t have a talent and wander this world wondering why you don’t have one, I have news for you.  You do have one, just look at what you do everyday, a lot, consistently, persistently and are good at it, even if you don’t really enjoy it, you have a ‘talent’ for sticking with it!

My husband goes to work, every day of his shift, week in week out to provide for us.  He comes home every night and gives me a kiss  and its not an empty kiss, its a kiss that shows he is pleased to see me and he is glad to be home.  His talent is that he is a great husband, father and provider and we are ‘enough’ for him.  Sure he has other interests and hobbies but his real talent is being great at taking care of us.

 

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I do not search for my talent anymore….. I got this far, successfully,  still believing that I can do anything and you too can do anything…….

 

 

Paintings all done by me……. I think even my art teacher wouldn’t be too disappointed!

 

 

A day to celebrate, ponder, reflect?

For some, mothers day is a day to celebrate and is anticipated with great excitement, for others, it may be a different story

I first became a mother (almost) 29 years ago and I remember being so excited and proud on my very first mother’s day. I also happened to have be born on mother’s day, and was a great source of joy to my own parents, having been preceded by two boys, my wonderful brothers. I remember us being excited when we were young and cheerfully doing our best in ensuring she ‘take it easy’ and we would make her breakfast in bed. This often entailed making a right mess in the process, but our intentions were good.

I remember my own children bringing me the same wonders, such as burnt toast, cold tea and a bunch of wonderful smiles to go with their gifts of flowers, chocolates and one time in particular I remember receiving ‘an umbrella’. I gave my husband and a confused glance. He duly explained that when he got to the supermarket the flowers were all gone, and with what money he had in his pocket, he had enough for an umbrella, as they were on offer! Strange gift, but it did of course come in useful with our very showery weather.

The purpose of the day is to celebrate and spend some time, by way of saying thank you and I love you and without you, I wouldn’t be here. It is a gesture of appreciation. Of course, it is not always possible to spend time, as children often do not live near their mothers, once they are grown up and have families of their own, so a card or a phone call or gift will be received to acknowledge the day.

For some, it may be a time to ponder. Some mothers do not have their children living with them. Some children may have ‘lost’ their mother and vice versa. I have two children, who on mothers day, buy me gifts and cards and wish me happy mothers day, but I am not their real mum, I am their foster mum. On this day, I always wonder how they must feel. It must be a significant reminder to them and they must wonder about their ‘real’ mum. My heart always breaks a little bit more for them on mothers day and other children in the same position. I wonder about her too, does she think about them on this day? Does she realise what beautiful children they are, how good and well adjusted they are. Sure we have our moments like any parent and child, but does she know what she is missing out on?

Some people would give anything, to be a mother. Sometimes mother nature can be cruel and it just doesn’t happen for some people, through no fault of their own. So I guess, as much as Mothers Day, is a day to acknowledge and celebrate it is also a day that can be a sad reminder, for some.

For my own children and my own mother, I think it is a time to reflect on my position, my role, as I am indeed both a daughter and a mother. Do I deserve to be celebrated? Do I celebrate my mother enough for all her hard work, love and dedication to me over the years? All I can say is that I have endeavoured to be both, a good daughter and a good mother. There have been times that I will have got it wrong, but always for the right reasons. My intentions will have always been good ones and in my failures as both daughter and mother, I always endeavour to be better and continue to try my best, not just on mothers day, but everyday.

For my husband, the year he bought me an umbrella. I returned the favour on Father’s day by buying him a watering can, just so I could stand under my umbrella, while he poured some water over it…… it had been a particularly dry year!!!

International Women’s Day

celebrating women’s achievements……. Acknowledging and aspiring to effect gender equality?

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Today, all over the world women are celebrating ‘International Women’s day’.  It has only been 109 years, since the first one, and at that time it was for better pay and voting rights, more parity with the men of this world.  Indeed there are many many women, celebrating and protesting all over the world about many inequalities or injustices that are still going on.

I, for one, thank god that I was born on this side of the world (in the west), rather than being born in  the East.   Not that injustices only happen in the Eastern part of the world, but the fact that you are born female there, can definitely have a severe disadvantage and detriment to rights and equality, more so than just equal pay.

I am not going to go through individual cases or scenarios of what ‘women, girls, females’ have to ‘put up with’.  We all know, too well the injustices and fights that we have to endure because of the fact that we are indeed ‘female’.

In a previous  blog I have spoken about  Emmeline Pankhurst and her movement, the Suffragettes, Vera Twomey and her quest as a mother to fight for the right for her child to have medicinal cannabis, to reduce her seizures and enhance her quality of life.  There are many great women whom I admire for their sheer determination to overcome the injustices and powers of men.  What about Malalal Yousafzai, the courage that girl had, to fight for the rights of girls to have an education.  Edith Eger, an Auschwitz survivor who held on to the words her mother had said to her,  minutes prior to their separation,  ‘They can never take what is in your mind’.  She chose to use her ‘mind’ to escape from the horrors she was subjected to.

Joan of Arc, a crusader, a woman who was key in turning the tide in the 100 years war and was later canonized as a saint.  Mother Theresa, Erin Brokovich, , Rosa Parks, to name but a few more – strong women who despite adversity, effected change.

I am a mother, and have been to a total of 14 children  (biological and non biological).  Some of them were with me for a short time, others a much longer time.  I have been consistently parenting 5 girls for the past 28 years to the present day.  My message to them, and my parenting to them, has been to try to make them strong independent women.  Why?  Because they have to leave home and go into the world and stand on their own two feet.   They have to form relationships, outside of the home, whether it is at school or at work.  They will meet  partners  and may be become mothers themselves (2 already have).  They will face challenges, up’s,  down’s and injustices along the way and when they do, I want them to be able to face their challenge, to deal with it and to move on from it, whatever it may be.  I also want them to be able to stand up for them selves and for others who are been treated unjustly.  I want them to have a good sense of self and a good sense of right and wrong and fight for it and do whatever it takes, to make a difference.  I want them to value themselves, to demonstrate and role model  that value, that self worth to their own off spring or to others.  Ultimately, I want them to be happy.

At the end of the day there is one thing women can do which men cannot and that is to carry a baby, and no matter what, that primal bond is unique and unbreakable.  Yes we can love equally, care for a child equally, but whether the parenting is good, bad or indifferent, something more is created in the carrying of the child that only a mother can feel, but not adequately explain.  We give birth to both male and female, and me personally, I want them to be equal, in their rights.  No question about it and if they are being treated ‘differently’ I absolutely would want them to stand up and shout out and be proud of the fact that they are doing so.  They need to Relay what they want, Shun and ship what they don’t….  It may not be easy, it may seem impossible, but nothing will be done if you do not try!

To all the females out there who are striving to achieve and to ‘do’, keep achieving and keep doing, because  at the end of the day you are absolutely worth it!

 

Sent to Coventry!

There is a term ‘ SENT to Coventry’ which ultimatey means to ostracise, ignore and shun them….

My relationship with Coventry however, is a positive one. Even though I don’t live there anymore, and haven’t for 20 years, I hold it dear in my heart.

Famous people you may have heard of are The specials who sang ghost town, Paul king who sang love and pride, Mo molam grew up here and was an integral part of the good Friday agreement and peace process in northern Ireland and of course good old Lady Godiva who rode around the streets of Coventry, naked on a horse, in protest against an oppressive tax imposed by her husband… what a noble woman she was !

Well I’m here on a visit at the moment as I have a daughter who lives nearby. It was planned months ago, before the beast from the east was a turn of phrase, synonymous with something awful !!

As I boarded my Ryan air flight on Tuesday, it was cold but sunny, no snow. As we landed in Birmingham, it was cold but sunny and no snow…. it’s now Friday and though there is a bit of snow, and it’s still cold, I’m having a great time being served food, including bread, in the comfort of my Hotel.

Back home there is a blizzard. The rest of my family are snowed in. The pipes have froze over. The shops are closed. There is no bread and they are in lockdown!!

I have met up with friends, had some laughs, shopped, swam in the pool and enjoyed the heat of the sauna…..

I have face time with my family snowed in at home and feel awful for them but, I’m also delighted I’m not there in the cold with no water to shower or flush the toilet !! It’s seems the beast of being ‘sent to Coventry’ is no way near as bad as the best from the east that has landed in my home in Ireland…

There it really does look like a ghost town. Here I still have love and pride for my roots…. I’m enjoying the peace but have no intention of riding on a horse naked…… not in this weather anyway !!

Stay warm, stay safe and do yourself a favour….. get sent to Coventry next time 😁😁😁

#coventry #ladygodiva # thespecials # Paulking # beastfromtheeast #bread #snow #peace #momolam #staysafe