
It was strange passing by the doorway
Knowing you no longer occupied the room
The first time I went in, after you died
I cried
I looked around at the remnants of you
The hospital bag, clean pyjamas, slippers and
Unwrapped sweets
Wurthers originals, your favourite,
The same initials as your name W. O
William O’Reilly
all I could do was stare at it all
The picture on the bedside cabinet of padre pio
Your ‘pal’, sure didn’t he always look after you
Your holy medals, always kept in your breast pocket
Next to your heart, to keep you safe
and your easy start, the ‘inhaler’ has given you
your Last breath, its last puff
and now all this stuff in this 10 ft. sq. room
will no longer will be touched by you
But you cannot be wiped clean from them
You are engrained and sustained in it all
and the holy Medals, in the palm of my hand
will still withstand life and death and I will never forget
your laugh, your smile, your funny ways, you.
They come with me on my journey
And I keep them safe and they keep me safe
Knowing you are at the heart of them
The smell of cigarettes filled the air and the stub in box
Of your cardigan pocket, a lasting legacy of your last
Kiss, where your lips wrapped around its filter
And you drew in the nectar of your addiction
No contrition or remorse or feeling bad
They were your comfort, your solace, and I get that
I loved them too, before I finally gave them up.
Now, more than two months on since you passed
as I stand in your room
No sign of you, no sight nor smell,
the paint and paste swallowed it up
but my mind can recall it all
the ghosts of this room
once my own, spent teenage years in a new life,
a new house, a new bedroom, and yours
was down the hall then
almost 40 years have passed since
I last slept in there
I remember it so well
Me and Jackie, giggling and talking
All night, until morning broke
when sleep finally muffled our chatter
and found us
So much joy and laughter contained
Within the walls
Yet so much sorrow, but
Now, as I slip in between the sheets
And darkness falls on the room
I remember the ghosts of both you and her
I drift and dream of great times
Good and happy memories
and as the long sleep takes me
on a sea of peace and calm
happily, I sail away with the
ghosts in my heart
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