Hi, I am a young at heart middle aged woman, navigating life , love and hardships like you.... I love to write, about anything and everything. I like to also write poetry. I love people , people watching, travelling, exploring and learning. Having enjoyed empty nest for a couple of years, it's time to get more selfish, more relaxed, more adventurous as I slide into my next decade... Looking forward to see what each new day brings...
Adolescence, the Netflix drama series, is the talk of the towns everywhere at the moment.
I watched it in one sitting. It is certainly a thought provoking, conversation starter and worthwhile piece of viewing on TV at the moment. It is particularly worth a watch if you have children, grandchildren or are a professional that works directly or indirectly with children, specifically teens.
It essentially portrays the impact, affect and ultimate behaviour, that can happen with the power of influence.
Influence, generally, can have either a positive or a negative impact, in my opinion. But in order for us to ‘act’ on influence, we first must make the ‘choice’ to.
Something in us, in our character, our attributes, our personality, our free will, makes a decision, a choice on whether or not we will be swayed, one way or another, right?
Sometimes though, we may ‘act’ on impulse, on instinct. Is that impulse or instinct innate, regardless of outside influences. Has it always been there. Were we born with it or did it develop based on our experiences and our environment? Is there any room for choice when it comes to impulse and instinct?
There is a saying which is ‘your gut instinct’. Usually that lets you know if its right or wrong, good or bad, but impulse is a different story. A gut instinct usually allows for some kind of rational thinking or rationale. Impulse is more immediate and often it is a behaviour based on risk.
In the series, we deduce that something infiltrated the teens psyche which had over time, influenced him , his feelings towards the girl in question, maybe other girls too, The social media platform appeared to be the main culprit of this influence.
However, did he set out to do what he did with intention and malice or did he act on impulse, once he confronted her? You could argue, he had the weapon on him, so he was prepared, therefore there was intent.
You could also argue that he had no intention of causing such fatal harm but merely wanted to scare her. That impulse took over his rational thoughts when he was deemed to be scorned or provoked and that part of his personality was such that he would lose control when so aroused.
Nevertheless, regardless of instinct or impulse, it is portrayed that the over riding factor in this case was the power of influence. Therefore, in my opinion, given any set of circumstances, a certain personality trait, and an environmental factor, we are all open to be influenced into or by anything.
I am considered a bit of a shop-a-holic…..it’s kind of true. I do enjoy buying things, if I can afford them. Years ago, I could afford very little, but I was easily influenced and swayed by my bank to get myself a credit card. The bank were giving them out, willy nilly and you only had to pay a minimum payment. Happy days, until it wasn’t ! I had rocked up a nice amount on my first card, because the bank kept upping my limit. They were increasing it because I was paying my minimum payment on time! The more they increased the limit, the more I spent.
I have maxed out and cleared three credit cards in my life because my motto was ,’you only live once and could be dead tomorrow’. However, after clearing the last one in my 40’s I vowed to not get a credit card again. The point I am trying to make is that I am impulsive by nature, and was easily influenced by the magical number that my credit card limit had grown to, and because of my motto ‘you only live once’, I happily kept spending. However, eventually sense came knocking at the door and my gut was telling me to knock the spending on the head, It wasn’t real money, it was just numbers and all I was really doing was accruing a debt that was just not sustainable in the long run.
It was like a pleasure and a pain at the same time. While spending I got a high and when the bank statement landed on the mat, the reality of the debt would hit me hard. I had to rein myself in.
Being a teen, it is very hard to rein yourself in. Your mind is not fully developed, you are still trying to find out who you are. you are changing continually and are full of angst and self esteem issues. Peers are our biggest influence and it is so easy to be swept up and lead by them.
Not all influence is bad or negative. For every negative there is a positive. Influence can be a very happy and positive experience. These days we can be influenced in many different ways by many different people, ideas and ideals. A teacher can be a great influence and inspiration for a pupil, whether young or old.
A tiktok influencer can influence someone to buy certain products, try certain foods, recommend books, holiday hot spots, sell up and travel the world, walk, write, exercise etc to improve mental health etc, etc, etc, the list goes on.
However, I think, it is the internal, intrinsic, innate part of us that will ultimately determine what we do with anything that influences us, how far we will let it lead us, and at what cost. For everything we do, no matter what age, there is a price to pay.
Adolescence, the Netflix drama series, is the talk of the towns everywhere at the moment.
I watched it in one sitting. It is certainly a thought provoking, conversation starter and worthwhile piece of viewing on TV at the moment. It is particularly worth a watch if you have children, grandchildren or are a professional that works directly or indirectly with children, specifically teens.
It essentially portrays the impact, affect and ultimate behaviour, that can happen with the power of influence.
Influence, generally, can have either a positive or a negative impact, in my opinion. But in order for us to ‘act’ on influence, we first must make the ‘choice’ to.
Something in us, in our character, our attributes, our personality, our free will, makes a decision, a choice on whether or not we will be swayed, one way or another, right?
Sometimes though, we may ‘act’ on impulse, on instinct. Is that impulse or instinct innate, regardless of outside influences. Has it always been there. Were we born with it or did it develop based on our experiences and our environment? Is there any room for choice when it comes to impulse and instinct?
There is a saying which is ‘your gut instinct’. Usually that lets you know if its right or wrong, good or bad, but impulse is a different story. A gut instinct usually allows for some kind of rational thinking or rationale. Impulse is more immediate and often it is a behaviour based on risk.
In the series, we deduce that something infiltrated the teens psyche which had over time, influenced him , his feelings towards the girl in question, maybe other girls too, The social media platform appeared to be the main culprit of this influence.
However, did he set out to do what he did with intention and malice or did he act on impulse, once he confronted her? You could argue, he had the weapon on him, so he was prepared, therefore there was intent.
You could also argue that he had no intention of causing such fatal harm but merely wanted to scare her. That impulse took over his rational thoughts when he was deemed to be scorned or provoked and that part of his personality was such that he would lose control when so aroused.
Nevertheless, regardless of instinct or impulse, it is portrayed that the over riding factor in this case was the power of influence. Therefore, in my opinion, given any set of circumstances, a certain personality trait, and an environmental factor, we are all open to be influenced into or by anything.
I am considered a bit of a shop-a-holic…..it’s kind of true. I do enjoy buying things, if I can afford them. Years ago, I could afford very little, but I was easily influenced and swayed by my bank to get myself a credit card. The bank were giving them out, willy nilly and you only had to pay a minimum payment. Happy days, until it wasn’t ! I had rocked up a nice amount on my first card, because the bank kept upping my limit. They were increasing it because I was paying my minimum payment on time! The more they increased the limit, the more I spent.
I have maxed out and cleared three credit cards in my life because my motto was ,’you only live once and could be dead tomorrow’. However, after clearing the last one in my 40’s I vowed to not get a credit card again. The point I am trying to make is that I am impulsive by nature, and was easily influenced by the magical number that my credit card limit had grown to, and because of my motto ‘you only live once’, I happily kept spending. However, eventually sense came knocking at the door and my gut was telling me to knock the spending on the head, It wasn’t real money, it was just numbers and all I was really doing was accruing a debt that was just not sustainable in the long run.
It was like a pleasure and a pain at the same time. While spending I got a high and when the bank statement landed on the mat, the reality of the debt would hit me hard. I had to rein myself in.
Being a teen, it is very hard to rein yourself in. Your mind is not fully developed, you are still trying to find out who you are. you are changing continually and are full of angst and self esteem issues. Peers are our biggest influence and it is so easy to be swept up and lead by them.
Not all influence is bad or negative. For every negative there is a positive. Influence can be a very happy and positive experience. These days we can be influenced in many different ways by many different people, ideas and ideals. A teacher can be a great influence and inspiration for a pupil, whether young or old.
A tiktok influencer can influence someone to buy certain products, try certain foods, recommend books, holiday hot spots, sell up and travel the world, walk, write, exercise etc to improve mental health etc, etc, etc, the list goes on.
However, I think, it is the internal, intrinsic, innate part of us that will ultimately determine what we do with anything that influences us, how far we will let it lead us, and at what cost. For everything we do, no matter what age, there is a price to pay.
So tomorrow is my birthday. 60. Sometimes I think it must be a mistake, that they lied about my age, but my birth certificate confirms it. Yep, definitely 60. Inside, however, I still feel like i’m in my 30’s !
The photo, bottom left, is when I was in my 30’s, taken with my best friend, who is 4 days older than me.
So this is my birthday eve. Tomorrow my family are all arriving to help me celebrate. Kids, grandkids, brothers and sisters in law. It will be nice to have them surround me and celebrate with me.
I wanted to surround my friend. That’s why there are so many selfies in the photo. She is not here . She was not here to celebrate her 60th birthday because she passed away when she was 56.
I was sad on Monday, her 60th birthday. I was sad because she wasn’t here. I was sad on Tuesday and every day since she died, I am sad that she is not here. That is grief.
Grief, stays with you. You are not stuck, stuck back in the time that you lost the loved one. You do go on with life. You learn to live with the grief, but some days it comes and slaps you hard in the stomach. Other days it is there, just simmering in the back ground. Big milestones, in particular, it will slap you hard across the face. Grief is the reminder of the love, that is why it stays.
I cannot celebrate my birthday tomorrow without thinking about or acknowledging that my best friend wasn’t here to celebrate hers.
I am blessed and grateful that I am here to celebrate my birthday with my family. Truly, that is a wonderful blessing.
I still think they lied about my age! How can I be 60. When I was 30, 60 was ‘old’. I am not old. Perish the thought! Maybe I will be old when I am 80. I live in hope to see !
To my fellow ‘oldies’, don’t listen to them, 60 is the new fabulous!!!
Well, I guess that would be a nun I had in my school. I had just moved from the UK to Ireland and was 14.
She took an instant dislike to me. She said “we didn’t ask to have you English people in our school and would be more than delighted to see the back of you”….
Also that i was “a savage in the jungle and would amount to nothing”……just delightful for a nun.
I learned:
Don’t take people in uniform at face value or too seriously. Don’t believe they took the Oath, with good intentions, necessarily.
Be understanding of difference.
Not to be racist/discriminatory.
Treat people with kindness and understanding.
Strive to do the best that I could in all that I do.
Be a good person. (Or good enough)
Religion is a man made rule book and set of beliefs, not necessarily followed by those who preach it.
Again, be a good enough person.
Go visit the jungle before I die.
I guess she gave me a challenge, and I became more than she could ever predict!
So lately I have been doing some ‘exercise’ routines around the house. About to enter into my 6th decade, I want to go in fit and strong and these days, what better way to motivate and inspire, perhaps, is through tiktok…. New age fandangos!
So I have been uploading my little demo routines and my children of course, quite understandably, mortified. I say with a smile on my face and think, payback for their teenage years (I am joking of course, they were all little darlings, cough cough).
So, one of my daughters was on her phone and my tik tok came up and she apparently said ‘Oh god, what is nanny at now’ and my grandchildren rushed over to see, what indeed, I was up to now.
Charlie, my grandaughter, who is 8, quickly jumped to my defence and said to her mother, and I quote “would you rather have a lazy old weak mum or a fit, strong cool mum?”
I laughed and laughed and laughed and so did my daughter. So rock on Charlie, you have given nanny THE best compliment and for you, I strive to remain cool!
I fluctuate between what I believe when it comes to the question “do you believe in fate/destiny”.
When I was younger I think I believed we were put here for a reason, and it was up to us to discover what the reason was and wherever we ended up, would be the answer, would be our fate, our destiny.
For example, having a certain plan for the day, and the day goes completely astray and looks nothing like how it was supposed to look, but by the end of the day, wherever and whatever has occurred, was meant to be. A lesson to be learned, or a new path laid out to show us the way.
The Robert Frost poem, ‘The road not taken’, has been interpreted by many and thought to be a metaphor to generalise life. However, perhaps he wrote it just because he came to a fork in the road and thought, “Hmmm, I wonder if I go down this road, where it will lead”. A road of discovery, of now knowing where it lead, and that is that.
The many trials and tribulations of life can drive us to the depths of despair or the heights of euphoria. From them, we learn a lot, usually about ourselves and how we responded to them. Highs can become like a drug and we seek it more and more and it can be addictive. Whereas lows, can bring us down, make us avoidant, or we may retreat, hibernate for a while.
Which ever scenario it is, we respond. So is the response a matter of fate or a matter of fact?
Is the drug of the high, whether it’s in a successful capacity or a damaging capacity, where our fate, our destiny, lies?
Are some people fated to be successful and rich because the universe says so, or is it because they are driven and worked hard? Is is because of their passion, their desire, their innate determination and tenacity? Billions of people work hard every day, but are not rich and may feel they are not successful.
Does the universe decide, well this is your fate because of the set of circumstances they are in. Perhaps they didn’t have the same opportunity as others, but none the less, work just as hard. Perhaps they are born in a poorer country that measures success in a different way to other countries.
Likewise if their drug, is literally a class A drug, or alcohol dependency, or gambling addiction, or sex addiction etc etc does that mean they are here, because that is their destiny, that is their fate?
As for the lows, the knocks, the blows that we inevitably have to accept as part of life, because that is life, it can harden people, it can soften people, it can open the minds of people, it can close the minds of people, because people have their own unique code and personality. They have their own internal set of skills to navigate and deal with life. Their own resilliences and coping mechanisms. So is that fate or personality?
Along this journey, we interact with people and places. Circumstances change and we have to adapt. Is this fate? Is this where we were meant to be in the first place, is this trial or tribulation a necessary thing to take us to this place? to this person? Perhaps. There is no knowing, is there?
I think it is a romantic notion. People often think of their relationships when they think of fate or destiny. We can make up answers to everything. We just have to speak it. Convince ourselves. Convince others. Influence others and believe that yes, it is fate.
Or, we can sit back and think i’m here because this is where I am choosing to be. On the journey, we meet people by chance. They may become an acquaintance, they may become a lot more than that, but we met them by chance. After that chance meeting, we make a choice as to what kind of relationship it will be.
We take a step in the dark sometimes, a leap of faith and hope for the best. Hope is just hope, it’s a desire, an expectation, something internal. The desire and expectation may be realised, or not. So does that mean it is down to fate or destiny? There is no way of categorically answering that question.
All we have is our own belief, our own opinion, and that is fine, we are entitled to have our beliefs and our opinions.
I have used that word before. I have had good and bad relationships. I have moved from house to house, country to country. I have met people by chance and chose to keep some close to me. I have learned a lot about myself along the way. My journey is not over. I can make connections of certain coincidences and say ‘it is fate’ and at that time I believe it to be so, but that doesn’t mean, it is the final destiny, because it can change.
There is one thing for sure and that it everything is certain to keep changing and that is all of our destiny’s.
There’s something quite exciting and beautiful about exploring. Also a sense of wonder and perhaps a little bit daunting, going into the unknown.
I sometimes wish every day was an adventure to somewhere new or something new, but then I guess, if it was everyday, it would be less exciting to discover it, or would it?
I don’t like mundane. I don’t like feeling in a rut. I don’t like everything to be the same, every day, like groundhog day. I am easily bored, so need a challenge or a change of scenery or learn a new skill, whatever, to keep my mind stimulated.
Currently I am attempting to learn Spanish, French and Irish (Gaelic) via duo lingo. I would like to have some comprehension and understanding of it and speak it enough to get me by. Its not easy and there are times I think I will never grasp it.
Soon I will be turning 60, so I want to be fit and strong. As a girl, I loved gymnastics and was very nimble. So now, my challenge for this year, is to be able to do a handstand again, without using the wall and perhaps cartwheel and hand flicks too! I do not like the gym, but I want to go into the next decade, strong, lean and fit! The practice has begun and is hilarious. I know there are plenty of 60 year olds and 70 year olds who are very fit and strong, but alas, I am definitely not what I used to be……yet! Watch this space……
First attempt at handstand, against the wall…. tiktok @mamacita9788 Discovering what I can do, or attempt to do…….
I love being out doors, in nature, going for walks, checking out the beautiful scenery that mother nature provides.
I love entertaining, from time to time and having friends over.
Sometimes I love to do nothing but enjoy my own company, curl up on the sofa and watch tv, or read or write something. Today is one of those days!
I have just been away for a few days with a friend to Connemara. We stayed in Clifden for one night and although there was a weather warning for wind and rain, we were pleasantly surprised that we got sunshine!
The landscape in Connemara is just spectacular. Rugged, wild, majestic giants of mountains, hills and valleys. Turquoise and blue oceans. We were blessed.
En route back towards home we decided to stay elsewhere another night. Sligo, only an hour from where I live, seemed a good place. Luckily the hotel had a vacancy.
We arrived, freshened up, got changed and headed out into the town for a couple of drinks, a bite to eat and then back to the hotel for a cocktail. Spontaneous extra night of chatting, connecting and exploring another town and what it has to offer at night time.
I have not stayed in either Clifden nor Sligo before, though I have previously visited both places during the day.
The hotel in Clifden, The Abbeyglen Castle Hotel, just a few minutes walk from the town, was a lovely warm and welcoming hotel. A brief and entertaining history talk about the hotel, with complimentary prosecco before dinner, was a lovely touch. The dinner was delicious and the entertainment was a hoot. I would definitely stay again. In the lounge room, decked with several comfy chesterfield sofas, beautiful art work, objet d’art and complimentary sweets in glass jars, for the taking, what’s not to like! 10 out of 10 for the little touches as mentioned above and especially for the warm welcome and attentive service of the staff .
We were recommended two pubs in Sligo town. W B Yeats town, I might add! Connollys (opposite the Glasshouse hotel over the bridge) and Hargadons (on the main street). We had a drink in each. Nice old world type pubs, good atmosphere and a friendly crowd. Hargadons was also good for food, but we got there too late for that. They stop taking orders for food at 7.45 ! We got a nice fish and chips in another pub called the Harp because by now we were ravenous. Fish was delicious, nice light batter and not too greasy,then it was back to the hotel for a cocktail and bed!
We were well worn out after our couple of days travelling, exploring, nattering, eating and drinking. Over all, a great couple of days away, letting the landscape in to nourish the soul.
Relay shun ships 
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