Family Life

pexels-photo-116151.jpegMamma,  Papa and Baby Bears….. a story something like this…..

Papa bear goes to work while mamma bear stays at home to produce and take care of wonderful little children.  She will clean the house, cook the dinner and have hubby’s slippers ready for him coming home from work, display children to him in all their glory and cuteness before putting them to bed and cuddling up with him on the sofa in blissful harmony.  Right…….   No?

Let me take you to a time when I had 3 small children, a husband, a full time job and a college course to boot!  A typical morning might look like this…..

Get up at 7.00 a.m. (having just got to bed at 5.00 a.m. to see to the babies (yes I had twins).  They were in the height of teething and papa bear is at work on the night shift.  Blindly walking across the landing into the bathroom to pee in peace before babies require my attention again.   The THREE minutes quality time in the bathroom is bliss, but must also wash and brush teeth quickly and quietly before the mad house comes alive.

Creeping back to the bedroom to find suitable clothes for work at the office.  Halfway through buttoning fresh crisp white blouse the screaming begins.  Running towards the now louder and louder wailing, I retrieve both babies and offer my shoulder to lean on and cry on whilst shouting across the landing for eldest child to ‘please get up and hurry up or we will be late’!

Painting a smile on my face and gently talking and reassuring babies, one on each hip now as I carefully negotiate the stairs.  Plonk each baby into a high chair assuring them breakfast will be ready in 2 ticks, shouting again up the stairs to eldest child to hurry up and come down for breakfast.

Cereal bowls out and mascara to hand I manage to keep one eye on the milk heating in the pot whilst also dressing the other eye with said mascara.  Who said I couldn’t multi task.   Distracted by a loud scream where one baby had decided to lean over and pull the hair from her sisters head, and sent her into a hysterical scream that would put even the banshee to shame.  Running over to comfort one child whilst chastising the other, the wonderful hissing sound of boiling milk was spilling  over the beautifully clean cooker – oh shit!

Sleepy 5 year old saunters into the kitchen, hair looking like she is trying out out a new rastafarian dread lock look, because it is so matted, due to her having  inherited her fathers extremely fine hair.  ‘I’m too tired to go to school today mummy, can I just go back to bed’?    Noooooo, now start getting dressed or mummy will be late for work!

Finally manage to complete making cereal, give cooker a quick wipe and a promise for a clean later.  Tell number 1 child to eat up her breakfast while I try to quickly shovel the gooey baby porridge into the delightful twins, using the usual coaxing method of the flying aeroplane and choo choo train trick, here it comes, open wide!  Though there is a smile on my face and my eyes are wide with glee and excitement for the benefit of my beautiful babies, my mind is screaming ‘JUST EAT THE FUCKING PORRIDGE, OR I’M GOING TO BE LATE’, deep breath and smile!

At Last, I hear a key in the door.  Himself is home to rescue me from ‘mummy duties’ so that I can get myself ready and de-dread lock  number 1 child , drop her at school before heading to do a FULL DAY’S work at the office.

‘WHAT a NIGHT’ he grunts as he comes into the kitchen, looking for some sympathy, well he has come to the wrong house!  He looks fresher than any daisy I have ever seen.  I suspect he had a lovely little snooze for himself whilst sitting in the control room.  Minding all those BUTTONS.  How easy is that, looking after some BUTTONS.  Sure they control the furnaces, but they only go off if the furnace gets too hot or too cool.   I mean, that probably doesn’t happen very often, if the other guys are doing their jobs right. Right? Sure that’s all there is to it.  Alarm goes off and he has to get off nice big comfy chair, and goes to press a button, before heading back to comfy chair, throw feet up on the desk and  nod off again, until the next time.  While here I am, up all night, pacing the floor with two screaming babies, searching for the calpol, bonjella, teething rings and anything else I can think of , including , singing, rocking and even crying myself, to try comfort them in their HOURS of need and pain.

Just as I am finally ready, having had to change my outfit, due to a child malfunction – puking their gooey baby porridge over me, because papa bear had retired to the living room.  Finally, the child minder arrives in the nick of time, and this is of great comfort to me, reassured that my darling babies will in fact have adult supervision before I go to work, as my darling husband is peacefully snoring his head off on the sofa, mouth open catching flies.

 

Its only 8.40 a.m. and I already feel like I have done half a days work and ran the relay race, before even getting to work.  I drop number 1 child at the school gate, give her a kiss and a hurried, ‘have a nice day’ before speeding off towards the bypass.  Quick glance in the mirror to check all is well, only to notice one eye has NOT in fact been ‘dressed’ and is MASCARA FREE.  Kill me now!

 

Every step you take

Last weekend I attended a a writing retreat #inspireme18. It had been organised by 3 very dedicated and talented authors, namely Carmel Harrington, Hazel Gaynor and Catherine Ryan Howard. I also met some other wonderful women attending the retreat. Since last week, us like minded women have stayed in touch (set up a social media group) and are there to support each other each step along the way. Isn’t that great. 20 practical strangers, spend a week-end together, with a common interest and have now formed our own little tribe.
The great thing about beginning something new, is you don’t know what shape it is going to take, until you take that first step.
It can be scary to start something new, meet someone new, do something new, but whatever it is, with whomever it is, whenever it is, it is some sort of relationship and it will have an impact. . Some, we will want to Relay – information, a message, an opinion. Some we will want to Shun – ignore, avoid, abstain. Some we will want to ship – export, forward, drop. Every day with every action we make a decision on everything and everyone we are faced with. We decide what we are going to ‘do’ in that relay shun ship relationship scenario. Get up early and go to the gym, or just roll over for another hours sleep. Walk to work or take the car. Make dinner or get a takeaway. You get my drift. Choices every day. Here’s to new beginnings and making good choices….. Now where is the chocolate

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The Beginning

Relay – information, a message, an opinion

Shun – ignore, avoid, abstain

Ship – export, direct, drop

The thing is with relationships, they all had to start somewhere. There is always a beginning. Our beginning began with our parents coming together, without them, we just wouldn’t be here. We may not live with our biological parents, but their DNA is part of us, however, does it define us?

Having had my own own children, lived with my own biological parents and looked after many children belonging, biologically to others, the answer is yes and no. Nature -v- Nurture, the debate is ongoing, depending how you look at it no? I am no expert on the matter at all and only speak from my humble opinion on the matter and from my own experience of being a person in a relay shun ship with all those around me.

By the time I came along there were already 2 other before me, my brothers, aged 1 and 2. We were like stepping stones. Three children under 3 and my mother was only 21 and my father was 24, but this is how it was in those days, some 50 odd years ago. Everyone got married young and had their babies young. What stresses and strains would that have had on their relationship, back in the 60’s, two Irish people, living in a strange land, England, married with 3 children? This I will explore as the blog goes on. Enjoy.pexels-photo-269583.jpeg

Daily Life Experiences Blog

This is the post excerpt.

Hi, this is my first time blogging, well actually its my second.  I started on a different site, but felt it wasn’t quite the right one, so here I am, beginning again with wordpress.  Please be patient with me, it may take a while for me to get to grips with it.  That is the thing about starting something new, it is both exciting, but also nerve wracking and can even be a little bit complicated.    (I will seek professional advice….. I promise) but in the meantime, if you see stuff that shouldn’t be here (like instructions how to build the blog) remember, I’m a learner and have a bit of sympathy.  Just think of a time when you had to start something new, like learning to drive  a car.  It’s kind of a bit like that for me now, trying to understand this format, but I will get there in the end.  In the meantime, enjoy and have a great day!

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