Time to Escape

The ‘burden’ of responsibility. We all have it – some take it, others shy away from it and some ignore it. Ultimately, however, we cannot escape it, or can we?

Responsibility‘ –   to be in a position of authority over someone and to have a duty to make certain that particular things are done.

There are many definitions and interpretations of the word ‘responsibility’, and no matter what, there comes a time when we all have to stand up an ‘be responsible’ or ‘take responsibility, in any given situation.

Take a ‘typical’ family situation.  It usually consists of at least, one full time parent but often two. Usually one or both go to work, to make the money, to pay the bills, and someone takes care of the children, or at least organises, child care for the children.  With all of that comes responsibility and accountability at some level.  I don’t think anyone will dispute that.  It seems a simple and feasible scenario.  The reality is, that it is not always so straightforward or simple, because we all know, ‘life is simple, its just not easy’ right?  That is because ‘responsibility’ is often a ‘Burden‘.  The definition of Burden :

‘A load, typically a heavy one’

The ‘breadwinner’ carries the burden of providing for the family, even when they may hate their boss, their colleagues, their job.  A parent has the ‘burden’ of teaching, protecting and getting the child ‘world ready’ for when he/she takes his/her independent steps and faces the world on their own.  The child has the ‘burden’ of making their parents feel ‘proud’ of their achievements, as this will equal that the parents were successful in their parenting.  Or is that necessarily so?

We cannot foretell what the future will hold or how ‘children’ turn out, is strictly down to parenting.  Yes it is influenced by it but there is more in the pot than just parenting, in how we all ‘turn out’.  It is a mixture of ingredients such as, personality, peer influences, other significant role modelling, intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, self esteem/worth, emotional intelligence to name but a few.

The burden though, is how we ultimately deal and cope with our ‘heavy load’, in all of the different relationships we have with others.  This is why, in my humble opinion, I believe we all need to ‘escape from it’ from time to time.

I had my first ever facial when I was 36 years old.  I had been laid up for a long time, after an operation on my back .   The burden that I felt I was putting on everyone was monumental, especially as I am usually a very active and independent person.    I felt quite useless as a wife and mother, being unable to do simple, usual daily tasks.  For Christmas that year, my other half, bought me a voucher for a facial.   I really didn’t know what to expect, as I had never been inside any sort of beauty salon in my life.

I spent one hour in the salon having my face, cleansed, toned, masked and moisturised to within an inch of its life.  The gentle hands of the therapist, the beautiful aromas of the creams and the gentle sound of the music, sent me off into one of the most relaxed states I had ever felt, EVER.    I didn’t know, having something done to my face, could do that!  I had been laid up for almost a year, slowing getting down and feeling useless, and in just one hour, this therapist worked her magic on me (not just my face) but me, the whole person.  I felt wonderful.  This one hour allowed me to escape my burden of responsibility somehow.  It was like a magic tonic and I literally felt like a new woman coming out of the salon and vowed, like #Arnold Schwarzenegger, that ‘I would be back’.

Not only did I go back, I went back to college and studied beauty therapy, worked as a therapist at a world class spa and then opened my own salon at home, to work around my family’s needs.  Stepping away from my usual day to day burden, for one hour, gave me a new lease of life, LITERALLY!

Yesterday I took my mother away for the night to a beautiful hotel and spa #Lyrah.  She is a very young 70 something but has some health issues, as you would expect for a 70 something.    It’s hard to think of great gifts to get for Christmas presents, so I thought, spending time with her, away from the burden of daily life, would be just what the doctor ordered…… for both of us!  Not only did I feel a sense of duty to spend some quality time with her, as my own day to day life is very hectic with teenagers, grand children and work, I could think of no better present to gift her.

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We began our day with a delicious lunch in a beautiful setting, had a fine dinner, attended a great show – The Three Amigos’, had restful sleep before our sumptuous breakfast.  Next we headed to the spa for a fabulous massage each and a dip in the pool.  Of course we couldn’t leave without yet another helping of their delicious food fare and enjoyed a cream tea, a.k.a pot of tea with warm scone, clotted cream and jam……Stupendous!

The moral of the story is whether it be a day at the spa, a walk on the beach, a catch up with your friends or a run up a mountain.  Take some ‘time’, leave the burden of responsibility for a short period and Take responsibility for your self and your well being.  Spend time, quality time,  with loved ones, that you don’t see all the time and step out of that ‘comfort zone’ of the heavy load.  Remember, one hour, in the hands of that wonderful therapist, turned my life around.  Go on, take the time, you owe it to yourself, to your family and to your soul!

 

The Grand Kids

A Grandchild ….always in your heart and a reason to smile, every day!

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Currently I have 4 grand children aged 1, 2, 3 and almost 10 years old.  I love them all to pieces and would do anything for them.  The only thing I don’t really want to do is to be their #childminder…….  I can hear all the sighs, tut tuts and even cheers of agreement and understanding.   Not wanting to be their childminder does not equal ‘I don’t love them or have fun with them.  It just means I want to hold on to my sanity and waining energy levels a little bit longer.  It means I want to keep my house in one piece, a little bit longer (I have just spent a fortune redecorating)!  It also means if I want to spend time pursuing things for myself, like spending a fortune redecorating the house or painting (art not walls) or just sitting on my arse enjoying some peace and quiet, I think that is my prerogative.    After all, I have already been to that mad crazy world before, raising their mothers.  I know what is involved…… the mess, the winging,the shitty nappies, the ‘no I don’t like that’ and the ‘no I don’t need to use the potty’, then two minutes later proceed to pee themselves.  And what about when I need to use the toilet and they want to come with you, really, I just want to pee in peace and in private.  ‘No darling, nanny won’t be long, now you stay there and don’t move’!    Try as you might to force that wee out as fast as you can, it’s seems never ending, especially when you suddenly hear a ‘thud’ or their footsteps on the stairs.    You are of course, thinking all kinds of craziness like they are going to/have fallen and have broken their arm or worse their neck and how do you explain that to their mother!  So no I can live without that kind of drama on a daily basis thank you.  I am already at risk of heart attack, having moved into that time of my life and crossed into  menopausal territory.

You see I looked after my first Grandchild when he came along.   His mother was still in college and of course, she needed to finish her studies and I was happy to oblige, he being the first and such a sweetie.  When she was pregnant with grandchild number 2, some years later, it dawned on me then, that if I mind this child too, my other daughters, would in the future, when they started to produce, say ‘you looked after hers, so why won’t you look after mine’ if I said no to them.  It could be a disaster as I have FIVE daughters.  I could see my life going from rearing children, to rearing more children.  when would i get to have a life????

I do, however, help out, you know whenever they need it, which at this moment in time is every time their mothers go to work  !……. Thank God they are only part time workers.

The fab thing about being a Nanny is there is a huge plus side.  Like going to places where it’s really just for kids but you like to participate too.  The park for instance.    My eldest grandson loves the swings, funnily enough, so do I.  He can swing himself now which means I no longer have to push him, at his squeals and request of ‘higher higher’.  I can hop on the swing next to him and have a competition to see who can go the highest.  Now, if I went there on my own, without a grandchild, swinging away to my hearts content, people would be ringing for the men in white coats.

My other favourite thing to do in the park is to go on the roundabout.  The faster the better.  Just before Christmas we had a family day out, which ended at the park.  Not only did I get a whip lash from the zip wire, I almost dropped my grand daughter in the process, who was clinging onto me for dear life as I was also clutching her as tightly as I could with one arm, the other holding on to said zip wire.  Next stop was the round about.  All four grandchildren, me and the son in law hopped on, while my husband gently turned us.  ‘Faster faster’, I squeeled, as he turned and turned some more.  Thoroughly enjoying the fun of it, I look down and see the children getting paler and paler with a look of utter ‘ what the fuck is going on’.  You know, the same look you have when you catch your children or grand children covered in sudocrem, or paint or poo cos you left them on their own for two minutes while you nipped to the toilet!

I love the fact that I can play silly games with them and make up silly songs and stories.  One grand child I have just loves saying things like, Mr poo poo head, or farty pants and even Mr bum crack.  I have NO IDEA where he gets it from 🙂

One thing I have always done is sang to my own children and my grand children.  Especially at nap or bed time.  They all love it and they all have a special song.  Yesterday whilst looking after my granddaughter I decided to walk around the garden with her, to sing her to sleep and get some fresh air.  The sun was shining but it was a cold, fresh day.  She was suitably wrapped up as was I with my nipple hat (my daughter calls it that because it has a pom pom), my pj’s and my fleece.    I start to feel a slight bit of frostbite nipping at my toes as I go around the yard, due to the fact that my slippers have holes in the soles.  I was kind of hoping for new ones at Christmas, but alas, they did not arrive.

My little dog follows me everywhere, and as it was still early (ish), his poop had not yet been scooped from the yard.   So navigating, successfully, the wheels to avoid going through the said poop, and being so engrossed in performing ‘you are my sunshine’ I accidentally stood in it just before turning the corner!

My mother used to always say ‘a rolling stone gathers no moss’.  She would say this because I was always moving or trying new things.  I would tell her ‘I don’t want to gather any moss, it is yucky, green and fuzzy.  Well as you can see from the photo, my wall has gathered the disgusting yucky, green fuzzy moss as it has not been painted for 2 years.  Also just on the ground by the wall is said yucky moss.  On this occasion however, I was especially pleased that we did, in fact ,have such an unpleasant looking growth, as it did serve a purpose in enabling me to wipe off the equally disgusting dog shit from my slipper with a hole in!

Note to self…… buy new slippers

Daily Life Experiences Blog

This is the post excerpt.

Hi, this is my first time blogging, well actually its my second.  I started on a different site, but felt it wasn’t quite the right one, so here I am, beginning again with wordpress.  Please be patient with me, it may take a while for me to get to grips with it.  That is the thing about starting something new, it is both exciting, but also nerve wracking and can even be a little bit complicated.    (I will seek professional advice….. I promise) but in the meantime, if you see stuff that shouldn’t be here (like instructions how to build the blog) remember, I’m a learner and have a bit of sympathy.  Just think of a time when you had to start something new, like learning to drive  a car.  It’s kind of a bit like that for me now, trying to understand this format, but I will get there in the end.  In the meantime, enjoy and have a great day!

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