Sent to Coventry!

There is a term ‘ SENT to Coventry’ which ultimatey means to ostracise, ignore and shun them….

My relationship with Coventry however, is a positive one. Even though I don’t live there anymore, and haven’t for 20 years, I hold it dear in my heart.

Famous people you may have heard of are The specials who sang ghost town, Paul king who sang love and pride, Mo molam grew up here and was an integral part of the good Friday agreement and peace process in northern Ireland and of course good old Lady Godiva who rode around the streets of Coventry, naked on a horse, in protest against an oppressive tax imposed by her husband… what a noble woman she was !

Well I’m here on a visit at the moment as I have a daughter who lives nearby. It was planned months ago, before the beast from the east was a turn of phrase, synonymous with something awful !!

As I boarded my Ryan air flight on Tuesday, it was cold but sunny, no snow. As we landed in Birmingham, it was cold but sunny and no snow…. it’s now Friday and though there is a bit of snow, and it’s still cold, I’m having a great time being served food, including bread, in the comfort of my Hotel.

Back home there is a blizzard. The rest of my family are snowed in. The pipes have froze over. The shops are closed. There is no bread and they are in lockdown!!

I have met up with friends, had some laughs, shopped, swam in the pool and enjoyed the heat of the sauna…..

I have face time with my family snowed in at home and feel awful for them but, I’m also delighted I’m not there in the cold with no water to shower or flush the toilet !! It’s seems the beast of being ‘sent to Coventry’ is no way near as bad as the best from the east that has landed in my home in Ireland…

There it really does look like a ghost town. Here I still have love and pride for my roots…. I’m enjoying the peace but have no intention of riding on a horse naked…… not in this weather anyway !!

Stay warm, stay safe and do yourself a favour….. get sent to Coventry next time ūüėĀūüėĀūüėĀ

#coventry #ladygodiva # thespecials # Paulking # beastfromtheeast #bread #snow #peace #momolam #staysafe

The irony of it !

to pee or not to pee…. in the nappy, on the potty. Now that is what you call proper toilet training……..NOOOOOT

I remember the days well when my girls were only little tots and I would be running around like a blue arse fly, the twins usually going in different directions, while the eldest madam would be busy occupying herself away from both of them, seeking her sanctuary!  I would be double jobbing and multitasking at the rate of speedygonzales, only to find it would all need doing again, at the speed of light.  Going to work (outside of the mad house), to the actual office, with actual adults to communicate with, was often my sanctuary.

My husband and I had a fantastic relationship. By that I mean a fantastic telephone relationship.¬† We were passing ships in the night you see, him working nights and me working days.¬† Some times he worked days too, (every six weeks, for six weeks) but he was more than often a grump at night and just wanted to watch t.v after his hard days work.¬† ¬†It was very hard for him, going to work and coming home to a cooked dinner, cooked by me.¬† Coming home to children who if not in bed, were about to be going to bed, by me, having had their bath, done by , you got it, me.¬† That of course, was my job, after I got in from work.¬† ¬†Sometimes I just wanted to scream with the tiredness as my ‘shift’ never seemed to have a ‘clocking off’ time.

I would get home from work at 5.30 but hubby dearest didn’t get home from work until 7.30, giving me a good two hours with our delightful off spring, to cook, feed, play, wash and put them to bed before settling down to…….. do the washing, drying, ironing and not to forget studying, as I was also at college, trying to get myself educated.

In those days we did not have mobile phones, just land lines and without fail, my darling hubby would ring me every day from work and tell me he loved me and missed me and would see me later.¬† When later came, I got the cursory kiss on the cheek,¬† the ‘i’m starving, what’s for dinner’ and after that he would get all nice and comfy to settle down and watch t.v¬† !

There was many a time I just couldn’t wait to be in my 50’s, having raised my family and spend some good quality time with my fella, while we happily watched our delightful children stepping into the big¬† world outside of our house for their own crazy adventures.

Fast forward 28 years………¬† I don’t work at the moment.¬† ¬†I ‘volunteer’ in a charity shop two days a week ) but that is not work (right?) just a slight hint of sarcasm there!¬† ¬† ¬†I still have 2 teenagers at home, so if any of you have teenagers, you can feel my pain!¬† I do get to spend some quality time with my fella, as he is on a much better shift,¬† 4 days on 4 days off.¬† Plenty of time for us to do things together, right….. wrong!

Sometimes we are lucky if we get to have lunch together in this hectic mad house of ours.¬† Yes, the big ones are grown up and don’t live here in the house, but they are never far away…….¬† One lives around the corner, the other lives a few miles away and another lives in the UK,¬† but comes home frequently.¬† ¬†Then of course, there is always the mobile phone, and by that I mean social media, messenger,¬† face time etc.¬† There is no escaping them, and their requests for ‘help’ and ‘support’, but does it really have to be so often!

This morning I had to take severe action…….. You see,¬† 1 of the teenagers is away with the school on a lovely trip to Prague, so of course, that doesn’t just ‘happen’, things need to be organised, which they were, by yours truly.¬† The other teenager has gone to visit with an aunt for a few days.¬† Hubby had a training course to do in work.¬† Two daughters, with their children¬† came to visit…… in fact one daughter and her son have been here ‘visiting’ for 2 weeks (in fairness she had been ill and in hospital for nearly a week, while I looked after her wonderful son).¬† The other daughter came with only two of her children as the other was in school.¬† She too was wrecked (just as I used to be when she was little)…… as any mother is with 3 small children.¬† He tales of woe, were very similar to my tales of woe, at her age.¬† I feel her pain.¬† But when I was actually ‘living and feeling’ that pain, I couldn’t wait to not be feeling that pain, if you get my drift.¬† ¬†What I am saying is, it doesn’t end, it doesn’t end because, they don’t really leave.¬† They keep coming back with their children (whom I adore), but sometimes, there are days, when I still want to scream!

Yes I have a nice husband, nice home and nice kids, everything I ever wanted, but is it too much to ask for some peace and quiet in my own house, with no one else in it, just occasionally?¬† ¬†So just as daughter with the two children said she would soon be leaving, I shot a look at the other daughter, waiting for her response that hopefully she too would be leaving….. but no, nothing, not a squeak…..¬† ¬†Children shouting and roaring in the back ground, t.v blaring out BLAZE¬† for the millionth time this week and my house beginning to look like it had been ransacked by burglars, again for the 100th time this week, washing machine squeeling as it spun it’s best, vibrating as it went, due to its over use no doubt over the last two weeks, and the dark barking at anyone or anything that moved, as he too, appeared to be going mad with the constant flow of people, big and small, in and out, up and down stairs, doors slamming, bickering, food throwing, drink spilling, toast popping……..¬† What could I do but the only thing left to do, I asserted my rights!!!!

‘Ok, Ok, that is it’ I began.¬† ‘You go get yourself and himself dressed and head off, its time now you went back to your own house and left me in peace.¬† I have work to do and just cannot do it with anyone in the house.¬† I need to hear nothing…. no¬† thing….. .¬† No children, no chatter, no t.v, nothing¬† I want to hear silence, I want to hear my thoughts, I want to get on with my housework, in peace, just me and the dog, in the house, doing some work, or doing nothing, if I so choose, but whatever I choose, I want to do it without you being here!¬† ¬† It’s a beautiful day, maybe for a walk, or go to the park but whatever,¬†¬†spit spot,¬† off you go’!!¬† I finally blurted out, trying to keep my composure before the top of¬† my head actually did blow off!

I wouldn’t change any of them for the world, but sometimes all a girl wants to do, is to be able to to get ‘stuck in’ even if it means ‘chucking them out’.¬† I must let you know a great deal was in fact achieved today and the amount of rubbish I ‘chucked out’ by getting stuck in was amazing and made me feel good.¬† I don’t imagine that is how Cinderella felt on a daily basis, but for this Cinderella, today was a good day!

Tonight, it is just my husband and me in the house.  I cannot remember the last time it was just the two of us at night in the house.  What a treat!  To celebrate we treated ourselves to a chinese take away and himself supping on a can of lager to wash it down.  When he was finished, off with his plate he went, to the direction of the sink and duly plonked it there, BESIDE the sink for the sink fairy to wash it, while he retreated to the sitting room, yes, you got it, to watch t.v!      I eventually went in to join him, as  I have had a rather hectic day, cleaning and sorting and chucking out, only to find him blissfully snoring in the chair!

I wonder what I will be doing in another 28 years from now!

 

 

 

Time to Escape

The ‘burden’ of responsibility. We all have it – some take it, others shy away from it and some ignore it. Ultimately, however, we cannot escape it, or can we?

Responsibility‘ –¬† ¬†to be in a position of authority over someone and to have a duty to make certain that particular things are done.

There are many definitions and interpretations of the word ‘responsibility’, and no matter what, there comes a time when we all have to stand up an ‘be responsible’ or ‘take responsibility, in any given situation.

Take a ‘typical’ family situation.¬† It usually consists of at least, one full time parent but often two. Usually one or both go to work, to make the money, to pay the bills, and someone takes care of the children, or at least organises, child care for the children.¬† With all of that comes responsibility and accountability at some level.¬† I don’t think anyone will dispute that.¬† It seems a simple and feasible scenario.¬† The reality is, that it is not always so straightforward or simple, because we all know, ‘life is simple, its just not easy’ right?¬† That is because ‘responsibility’ is often a ‘Burden‘.¬† The definition of Burden :

‘A load, typically a heavy one’

The ‘breadwinner’ carries the burden of providing for the family, even when they may hate their boss, their colleagues, their job.¬† A parent has the ‘burden’ of teaching, protecting and getting the child ‘world ready’ for when he/she takes his/her independent steps and faces the world on their own.¬† The child has the ‘burden’ of making their parents feel ‘proud’ of their achievements, as this will equal that the parents were successful in their parenting.¬† Or is that necessarily so?

We cannot foretell what the future will hold or how ‘children’ turn out, is strictly down to parenting.¬† Yes it is influenced by it but there is more in the pot than just parenting, in how we all ‘turn out’.¬† It is a mixture of ingredients such as, personality, peer influences, other significant role modelling, intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, self esteem/worth, emotional intelligence to name but a few.

The burden though, is how we ultimately deal and cope with our ‘heavy load’, in all of the different relationships we have with others.¬† This is why, in my humble opinion, I believe we all need to ‘escape from it’ from time to time.

I had my first ever facial when I was 36 years old.¬† I had been laid up for a long time, after an operation on my back .¬† ¬†The burden that I felt I was putting on everyone was monumental, especially as I am usually a very active and independent person.¬† ¬† I felt quite useless as a wife and mother, being unable to do simple, usual daily tasks.¬† For Christmas that year, my other half, bought me a voucher for a facial.¬† ¬†I really didn’t know what to expect, as I had never been inside any sort of beauty salon in my life.

I spent one hour in the salon having my face, cleansed, toned, masked and moisturised to within an inch of its life.¬† The gentle hands of the therapist, the beautiful aromas of the creams and the gentle sound of the music, sent me off into one of the most relaxed states I had ever felt, EVER.¬† ¬† I didn’t know, having something done to my face, could do that!¬† I had been laid up for almost a year, slowing getting down and feeling useless, and in just one hour, this therapist worked her magic on me (not just my face) but me, the whole person.¬† I felt wonderful.¬† This one hour allowed me to escape my burden of responsibility somehow.¬† It was like a magic tonic and I literally felt like a new woman coming out of the salon and vowed, like #Arnold Schwarzenegger, that ‘I would be back’.

Not only did I go back, I went back to college and studied beauty therapy, worked as a therapist at a world class spa and then opened my own salon at home, to work around my family’s needs.¬† Stepping away from my usual day to day burden, for one hour, gave me a new lease of life, LITERALLY!

Yesterday I took my mother away for the night to a beautiful hotel and spa #Lyrah.¬† She is a very young 70 something but has some health issues, as you would expect for a 70 something.¬† ¬† It’s hard to think of great gifts to get for Christmas presents, so I thought, spending time with her, away from the burden of daily life, would be just what the doctor ordered…… for both of us!¬† Not only did I feel a sense of duty to spend some quality time with her, as my own day to day life is very hectic with teenagers, grand children and work, I could think of no better present to gift her.

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We began our day with a delicious lunch in a beautiful setting, had a fine dinner, attended a great show – The Three Amigos’, had restful sleep before our sumptuous breakfast.¬† Next we headed to the spa for a fabulous massage each and a dip in the pool.¬† Of course we couldn’t leave without yet another helping of their delicious food fare and enjoyed a cream tea, a.k.a pot of tea with warm scone, clotted cream and jam……Stupendous!

The moral of the story is whether it be a day at the spa, a walk on the beach, a catch up with your friends or a run up a mountain.¬† Take some ‘time’, leave the burden of responsibility for a short period and Take responsibility for your self and your well being.¬† Spend time, quality time,¬† with loved ones, that you don’t see all the time and step out of that ‘comfort zone’ of the heavy load.¬† Remember, one hour, in the hands of that wonderful therapist, turned my life around.¬† Go on, take the time, you owe it to yourself, to your family and to your soul!

 

The Grand Kids

A Grandchild ….always in your heart and a reason to smile, every day!

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Currently I have 4 grand children aged 1, 2, 3 and almost 10 years old.¬† I love them all to pieces and would do anything for them.¬† The only thing I don’t really want to do is to be their #childminder…….¬† I can hear all the sighs, tut tuts and even cheers of agreement and understanding.¬† ¬†Not wanting to be their childminder does not equal ‘I don’t love them or have fun with them.¬† It just means I want to hold on to my sanity and waining energy levels a little bit longer.¬† It means I want to keep my house in one piece, a little bit longer (I have just spent a fortune redecorating)!¬† It also means if I want to spend time pursuing things for myself, like spending a fortune redecorating the house or painting (art not walls) or just sitting on my arse enjoying some peace and quiet, I think that is my prerogative.¬† ¬† After all, I have already been to that mad crazy world before, raising their mothers.¬† I know what is involved…… the mess, the winging,the shitty nappies, the ‘no I don’t like that’ and the ‘no I don’t need to use the potty’, then two minutes later proceed to pee themselves.¬† And what about when I need to use the toilet and they want to come with you, really, I just want to pee in peace and in private.¬† ‘No darling, nanny won’t be long, now you stay there and don’t move’!¬† ¬† Try as you might to force that wee out as fast as you can, it’s seems never ending, especially when you suddenly hear a ‘thud’ or their footsteps on the stairs.¬† ¬† You are of course, thinking all kinds of craziness like they are going to/have fallen and have broken their arm or worse their neck and how do you explain that to their mother!¬† So no I can live without that kind of drama on a daily basis thank you.¬† I am already at risk of heart attack, having moved into that time of my life and crossed into¬† menopausal territory.

You see I looked after my first Grandchild when he came along.¬† ¬†His mother was still in college and of course, she needed to finish her studies and I was happy to oblige, he being the first and such a sweetie.¬† When she was pregnant with grandchild number 2, some years later, it dawned on me then, that if I mind this child too, my other daughters, would in the future, when they started to produce, say ‘you looked after hers, so why won’t you look after mine’ if I said no to them.¬† It could be a disaster as I have FIVE daughters.¬† I could see my life going from rearing children, to rearing more children.¬† when would i get to have a life????

I do, however, help out, you know whenever they need it, which at this moment in time is every time their mothers go to work¬† !……. Thank God they are only part time workers.

The fab thing about being a Nanny is there is a huge plus side.¬† Like going to places where it’s really just for kids but you like to participate too.¬† The park for instance.¬† ¬† My eldest grandson loves the swings, funnily enough, so do I.¬† He can swing himself now which means I no longer have to push him, at his squeals and request of ‘higher higher’.¬† I can hop on the swing next to him and have a competition to see who can go the highest.¬† Now, if I went there on my own, without a grandchild, swinging away to my hearts content, people would be ringing for the men in white coats.

My other favourite thing to do in the park is to go on the roundabout.¬† The faster the better.¬† Just before Christmas we had a family day out, which ended at the park.¬† Not only did I get a whip lash from the zip wire, I almost dropped my grand daughter in the process, who was clinging onto me for dear life as I was also clutching her as tightly as I could with one arm, the other holding on to said zip wire.¬† Next stop was the round about.¬† All four grandchildren, me and the son in law hopped on, while my husband gently turned us.¬† ‘Faster faster’, I squeeled, as he turned and turned some more.¬† Thoroughly enjoying the fun of it, I look down and see the children getting paler and paler with a look of utter ‘ what the fuck is going on’.¬† You know, the same look you have when you catch your children or grand children covered in sudocrem, or paint or poo cos you left them on their own for two minutes while you nipped to the toilet!

I love the fact that I can play silly games with them and make up silly songs and stories.¬† One grand child I have just loves saying things like, Mr poo poo head, or farty pants and even Mr bum crack.¬† I have NO IDEA where he gets it from ūüôā

One thing I have always done is sang to my own children and my grand children.¬† Especially at nap or bed time.¬† They all love it and they all have a special song.¬† Yesterday whilst looking after my granddaughter I decided to walk around the garden with her, to sing her to sleep and get some fresh air.¬† The sun was shining but it was a cold, fresh day.¬† She was suitably wrapped up as was I with my nipple hat (my daughter calls it that because it has a pom pom), my pj’s and my fleece.¬† ¬† I start to feel a slight bit of frostbite nipping at my toes as I go around the yard, due to the fact that my slippers have holes in the soles.¬† I was kind of hoping for new ones at Christmas, but alas, they did not arrive.

My little dog follows me everywhere, and as it was still early (ish), his poop had not yet been scooped from the yard.¬† ¬†So navigating, successfully, the wheels to avoid going through the said poop, and being so engrossed in performing ‘you are my sunshine’ I accidentally stood in it just before turning the corner!

My mother used to always say ‘a rolling stone gathers no moss’.¬† She would say this because I was always moving or trying new things.¬† I would tell her ‘I don’t want to gather any moss, it is yucky, green and fuzzy.¬† Well as you can see from the photo, my wall has gathered the disgusting yucky, green fuzzy moss as it has not been painted for 2 years.¬† Also just on the ground by the wall is said yucky moss.¬† On this occasion however, I was especially pleased that we did, in fact ,have such an unpleasant looking growth, as it did serve a purpose in enabling me to wipe off the equally disgusting dog shit from my slipper with a hole in!

Note to self…… buy new slippers

Daily Life Experiences Blog

This is the post excerpt.

Hi, this is my first time blogging, well actually its my second.¬† I started on a different site, but felt it wasn’t quite the right one, so here I am, beginning again with wordpress.¬† Please be patient with me, it may take a while for me to get to grips with it.¬† That is the thing about starting something new, it is both exciting, but also nerve wracking and can even be a little bit complicated.¬† ¬† (I will seek professional advice….. I promise) but in the meantime, if you see stuff that shouldn’t be here (like instructions how to build the blog) remember, I’m a learner and have a bit of sympathy.¬† Just think of a time when you had to start something new, like learning to drive¬† a car.¬† It’s kind of a bit like that for me now, trying to understand this format, but I will get there in the end.¬† In the meantime, enjoy and have a great day!

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