Allow me

physical or emotional, pain is pain. How we manage it is our choice. Do we need or want to be fixed or do we want to discover, by ourselves and manage ourselves, to see who we are all by ourselves?

woman sleeping

 

I’m not getting dressed, I don’t feel well

I’ve got a pain and it hurts like hell

Allow me to be wrapped in this insatiable grief

I’ve  been taken over by an invisible thief

The cause of the pain, I have no clue

but please stop telling me what to do

allow me to rest and get some relief

sometimes i’m thankful to the invisible thief

he takes me away from dreary demands

life is just quiet, no specific plans

let me just be and rest for a while

wandering and wondering, if ever I’ll smile

The invisible thief leaves symptoms behind

they pound like hell, in the daily grind

allow me to be, just leave me alone

I want to be here, I want to be home

no fuss or no drugs are what will save me

the cause alone will set me free

allow me to feel, remember and know

maybe then i’ll begin to grow

the invisible thief took my voice

but not my will, my hope, my choice

all that I do is mine to choose

some days I win, some days I loose

Allow me the courtesy to be in control

of my mind and my body, let me behold

all that is positive is a point of view

allow me my pain and I’ll allow you

 

 

© carrie sherbourne and Relay shun sips – itsjustnoteasy.com Blog, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Carrie sherbourne and itsjustnoteasy.com Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photo by Ivan Oboleninov on Pexels.com

When I look at you

What does Autism look like to you….What does normal look like to you. Here is what it looks like to me

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When I look at you what do I see

I see a boy, born to be free

Free from stares, or funny looks

Included in games or reading books

I see a boy, who plays alone

whether in school, or at his home

A boy who knows when to ask

even though, it can be quite a task

A boy born special, with words in his head

If only they’d come out of his mouth instead

A boy that is patient, handsome and kind

Yet all too often, we have to remind

those that don’t know you, or understand

non verbal is not the definition of you

There are many things that you can do

I see a boy, so clever and brave

inquisitive of mind, you don’t misbehave

I see a boy who gets frustrated and sad

Sometimes with the world you may feel mad

I see a boy who defies the odds

gets on with the challenge and carries the rods

I see the boy willing to learn

no matter the difficulty, knowledge you yearn

I see the boy watching and waiting

hoping the people will stop their berating

Not all people are born the same

I see the boy who will change the game

of life how we see it, being ‘normal’ and all

it depends on whether, you throw or catch the ball

Normal to you is to watch and observe

hoping someone will have the nerve

to stand beside you and see the boy

not the Autism, that’s just a decoy

Look beyond the stims and the unique ways

sit with him, make his day

I see the boy who doesn’t want to pretend

Like, you and I, he just wants a friend

Don’t be afraid to look inside

No need to ignore, walk away or hide

He is just a boy to be understood

His heart is full of all things good

He may be shy or a little afraid

but please don’t exclude him

ignorance is man made

I see a boy, who is often alone

like the heron waiting, yet he never moans

in silence he sits, amusing himself

The kindness you show him, is worth all the wealth

so please be ‘normal’ and show your good grace

it will be worth it, to see the smile on his face

What’s normal for you is different than mine

and kindness will win, time after time

 

 

for Joseph, with love……. (and everyone else on the spectrum)

Photo Authors own, taken by the River Slaney, Enniscorthy

 

© carrie sherbourne and Relay shun sips – itsjustnoteasy.com Blog, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Carrie sherbourne and itsjustnoteasy.com Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Free to Flit

Life’s journey gives you perspective on the things that really matter

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Easily bored or a restless soul

to do so much, is my goal

The job’s I’ve had, more than a few

Good or bad, is a point of view

I liked them all, in their own special way

But, I always knew, there would come a day

when it was time to move, to pastures new

gain new skills, new acquaintances too

Back to school, always yearning

Gain more knowledge, all that learning

It fills me with a sense of joy

to push myself, in no way coy

As for the Arts, a new found passion

also clothes and the latest fashion

A trip to the theater, gallery or museum

Neither time nor inclination

so tired with delirium

when the children were small, and full of demands

never spare time, on my hands

Now older and wiser, more self assured

I fill my time, so I’ll never be bored

I call the shots and work when I can

in between life’s joys or when the shit hits the fan

Priorities change as life races on

the person you were, has somehow gone

Each stage of life brings its changes

Goalposts move to different ranges

I don’t call it boredom, maybe its wit

to know when it’s time, to be free to flit

Dip in and out of the things that bring pleasure

Fill up the soul with meaningful treasure

Not in the oddments of material things

But of people and places that makes my heart sing

© carrie sherbourne and Relay shun sips – itsjustnoteasy.com Blog, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Carrie sherbourne and itsjustnoteasy.com Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Moving on

affection board broken broken hearted
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Shaking, breaking, falling down,

calling, crawling, on the ground

Noises, voices, in my head

sadness, madness, I see red

Aching, breaking, heart in two

Pleading, needing, I thought, You

Rejecting, accepting, down the black hole

feeling, seething, emotion parole

soothing, moving, erratic disdain

seeing, believing, in love again,

passing, moving, carry on

one to two, then two to one

sad, happy, angry , mad

past, future, memories, glad

old, new, a chapter begins

acknowledge, forgiveness

cleansed of sins

© carrie sherbourne and Relay shun sips – itsjustnoteasy.com Blog, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Carrie sherbourne and itsjustnoteasy.com Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Independent Dependence

when its time to flee the nest…. or so they think! How independent are they really ?

adult background beach blue

Photo by Lukas on Pexels.com

It’s time to go, I want to leave

I need some time, a small reprieve

A place of my own, to make my rules

Now, rest assured, I’ll be nobody’s fool

But can you just give me a hand

I’m only asking, it’s not a demand

If you could perhaps give me a lift

Consider it like, a parting gift

Then take me to the grocery store

Fill my trolley with goods galore

Especially fill up with milk and honey

Can you help me out, I have no money?

One day soon I’ll get a job

Until then, have you got a few bob?

I hear the dole is a good place to start

I like the work ethic, it’s close to my heart

For all I do is sign my name

I kid you not, it’s not a game

This independence lark will be a breeze

I’ll adapt in no time, with such ease

On my own 2 feet, I shall be free

So long as your there to still help me!

© carrie sherbourne and Relay shun sips – itsjustnoteasy.com Blog, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Carrie sherbourne and itsjustnoteasy.com Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Guilty

for all the hard working mothers, trying to get through the day

underwater photo of woman wearing green and black dress

I watch what you say, without any words. As you hurry around in the morning rush. Busy you are, throwing words in the air, gathering the goods, with eyes that just stare.

‘Hurry up, you say, there’s so much to do, feeding and dressing, there’s more than just you. In and out and up and down, running around like a circus clown.

Sorting the breakfast, the clothes and the bags, while you are rushing, everyone else lags.

Inside your head you want to scream, Guilty you feel, amongst your team.

Heart is pounding, head it hurts, five minutes peace, is what you deserve.

Guilty you feel for rushing them out, a smile on your face, as you look at their pouts.

Drive them to school, the traffic is mad, their fighting and arguing, it makes you feel bad.

‘For goodness sake, give it a rest’, you shout at them, as they protest

Guilty you feel, you’ve done it again, raised your voice and now you feel mean.

Finally, you drop them at the gate, the school bell rang, they are late.

Guilty as charged, you hurry them out, it’s all your fault, there is no doubt

The silence is golden, no, pure bliss, Guilty you feel, for enjoying this

Home to the washing, the cleaning, the mess. You want to lay down and get a rest

Can’t do that, too much to do, the shopping, the cooking, the ironing too.

plates and bowls spilt milk on the table, head is banging, you feel unstable

‘I hate this mess’ you think to yourself as you pick up a toy and place back on the shelf

you sit on the sofa, and look around, how life has changed, it’s so profound

It’s really not like you thought it would be, and now you feel guilty, for what you see

You look at the photos on the wall, hanging there proudly in the hall,

Your heart fills with love, you want to cry, such overwhelm, you cannot deny

Of course it’s not perfect, it never will be, no mother on earth, can feel guilt free

Mother nature herself can brew up a storm, but beauty will balance any forlorn

the beauty of love held in your heart is always a mothers’ guilty start

To your child you will be enough, learn to take the smooth and the rough

Nothing on earth can replace your love and that is something to be guilty of

Be proud of your guilt, it means you that you care, start again tomorrow, guilt free if you dare.

In mind or in action, there is a reaction, in thinking or doing, there is always pursuing. What is it we seek, evoke or conspire, feelings of guilt, often transpire !

© carrie sherbourne and Relay shun sips – itsjustnoteasy.com Blog, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Carrie sherbourne and itsjustnoteasy.com Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

C

Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

The 12th of never

If you had a wish what would it be
‘to see her face’, you said to me
I eyed you closely in the mirror
My heart aching, your love I consider
But a boy, just 7 years old
Passed around from pillar to post
A wand I wish I had to hand
Create a magic,make true your command
The smell of leather, the engine hums
We drive, I watch, as you think of mum
In your heart she never leaves
It’s filled with love and hopeful dreams
That one day you can be back together
Someday soon, not the 12th of never
A smile you wear upon your face
You’re eyes conceal what you have to face
To stay with strangers, no blood no bond
You must conform, react, respond
A little bed in a large room
‘can I go home, can I go soon?
A familiar smell reminds you of her
You can’t go yet, we have to defer
It’s for the best, you must understand
No way, not now, can you live with your mam
Its not your fault, you did nothing wrong
I know it’s not easy, you feel you belong
Not here with us, though we keep you safe
But there in the chaos, that familiar place
One day we hope things will be better
We don’t expect that you should forget her
But keep her there in that heart of yours
And we’ll pray together that it won’t be so raw
The hurt, the pain, the sense of loss
Yes you are safe, but what is the cost
Scared in your mind and out of your wits
We’ll help you get through it, bit by bit
One day I hope that we’ll get you back home
But until that day, together well roam
It’s all ok, cry if you must
One day you’ll know,in us you can trust
It must be hard, I cannot conceive
A separated child, who can he believe
No-one can tell him, how to feel in his heart
It’s broken, it’s damaged, it’s falling apart
But soften the blow, we’ll try our best
To help you along and aide in your quest
Believe me though, I know it’s true
Your mam also loves and misses you
It’s not her fault, she just couldn’t cope
It was just too much, out of her scope
She’ll get some help and learn the skills
And slowly learn a new life to build
And one day soon you’ll be together
no Not today, not the 12th of never……

© carrie sherbourne and Relay shun sips – itsjustnoteasy.com Blog, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Carrie sherbourne and itsjustnoteasy.com Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Time

Time to wake from the slumber

Yawn and stretch, and check your number

Time to eat, time to go

Time to learn, time to grow

Time for work, time for bed

Time to go where you are lead

Time for work, time for school

Time to do something cool

Time do a chore or two

Time to spend time with you

Time for me to work it out

Time to scream, time to shout

Time to laugh, time to cry

Time to sulk and wonder why

Time to feel sadness and pain

Time to start to live again

Time to think, and check the past

Time to walk, be free at last

Time for fear, the net is gone

Time for love, you are the one

Time to know love starts with you

Time to try pastures new

Time for sorrow, time for tears

Time wondering, where are those years

Time to to clean, to mop and wipe

Time to wonder, what is this life

Time to stop, to breath and see

Time for you, them, and me

Time for something and nothing at all

Time to dance, time to fall

Time to be quiet, to think and ponder

Time to cherish, time to wonder

Time for time to make it happen

Time to know what is your weapon

Time for calm, time for peace

Time to let the beast release

Time for today, it’s all that’s promised

Time to embrace opportunities missed

Time to know that time will stop

Time for redemption to stay on top

Time is time, it will carry on

Time infinite after we’ve gone

© carrie sherbourne and Relay shun sips – itsjustnoteasy.com Blog, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Carrie sherbourne and itsjustnoteasy.com Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

The soldier

Happy days filled with laughter

A time gone by, there was disaster

Crawling, dragging across the floor,

Not me, not now, not anymore

Squeals of delight as freedom calls

No longer chained in hazardous walls

Normal life no bombs no blasts

It’s not my job, it’s in my past

I watch the world in civy street

Normal faces i come to meet.

Walking, driving, dashing around

I keep my feet firmly on the ground

An accidental shove or push

I feel the blood through my veins, rush

Its all ok, just stay calm

No need to fret, there is no harm

Hurry, I rush back to my beauty

No more orders, no more duty

What now for me, when all is done?

No more use for a grenade or gun

What will I hold in these hands of mine?

A different peace, more simple and kind.

A soldier I was, driven by orders

Peace or power, protect our borders

Now I am but another man

Where do I belong, in no mans land?

The screams the crys the shrieks the laughs

They’re jumbled up, and crossing paths

Happy, sad, content or sorrow

Ive no idea how i’ll face tomorrow

Ive walked away from that hazardous time

Now to tell my traumatic mind

Its ok now, it is all in the past

But memories like that, are made to last

© carrie sherbourne and Relay shun sips – itsjustnoteasy.com Blog, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Carrie sherbourne and itsjustnoteasy.com Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

My shoes

The crunch of the sand beneath my feet

I feel them sink in the soft damp grain, while the salty water sweeps over, and splashes up my calf

The wind blows through my hair and whips it back from my face

I keep walking at steady pace, my mind filled with thoughts…. thoughts of you

I cannot but wonder if all is well, and as i do, i feel my heart swell.

Children playing, digging deep, the roar of laughter, interrupts my thoughts and I want to remain

In this moment, the twilight sky, the salty fresh smell, as my feet continue, leading the way

Pounding and sinking as they go , to somewhere, yet nowhere, this I know

The squawk of the gull, as it swoops then ascends, alone in its quest, it has no friends

Still i continue, my heart beating fast, then suddenly i stop, I’ve arrived at last

Conclusions they come, sometimes good sometimes bad. Nevertheless its an answer whether happy or sad

Wonder i must as I turn around, again my feet, they pound the ground

Go from my head, it no use to me, to wonder and hope of what it could be

Over the dunes, the sun sets bright red

A reminder of words, bygone days, once said

Empty and futile, yet once so sincere

But its only me now, and my shoes that are here

Words they are so easy to string

Along with a kiss, an embrace and a ring

Where are you though. As the waves crash the strand, not here with me holding my hand

Alone I must go and keep moving on

For it’s beauty, it’s life and i know I have won

Sing the song of the sweethearts desire and wrap up the thoughts that once would conspire

Futile and empty, they mean nothing now

I walk and I walk in the crunch of the sand

No man, child or beast to tell or demad

© carrie sherbourne and Relay shun sips – itsjustnoteasy.com Blog, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Carrie sherbourne and itsjustnoteasy.com Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content