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A day to celebrate, ponder, reflect?

For some, mothers day is a day to celebrate and is anticipated with great excitement, for others, it may be a different story

I first became a mother (almost) 29 years ago and I remember being so excited and proud on my very first mother’s day. I also happened to have be born on mother’s day, and was a great source of joy to my own parents, having been preceded by two boys, my wonderful brothers. I remember us being excited when we were young and cheerfully doing our best in ensuring she ‘take it easy’ and we would make her breakfast in bed. This often entailed making a right mess in the process, but our intentions were good.

I remember my own children bringing me the same wonders, such as burnt toast, cold tea and a bunch of wonderful smiles to go with their gifts of flowers, chocolates and one time in particular I remember receiving ‘an umbrella’. I gave my husband and a confused glance. He duly explained that when he got to the supermarket the flowers were all gone, and with what money he had in his pocket, he had enough for an umbrella, as they were on offer! Strange gift, but it did of course come in useful with our very showery weather.

The purpose of the day is to celebrate and spend some time, by way of saying thank you and I love you and without you, I wouldn’t be here. It is a gesture of appreciation. Of course, it is not always possible to spend time, as children often do not live near their mothers, once they are grown up and have families of their own, so a card or a phone call or gift will be received to acknowledge the day.

For some, it may be a time to ponder. Some mothers do not have their children living with them. Some children may have ‘lost’ their mother and vice versa. I have two children, who on mothers day, buy me gifts and cards and wish me happy mothers day, but I am not their real mum, I am their foster mum. On this day, I always wonder how they must feel. It must be a significant reminder to them and they must wonder about their ‘real’ mum. My heart always breaks a little bit more for them on mothers day and other children in the same position. I wonder about her too, does she think about them on this day? Does she realise what beautiful children they are, how good and well adjusted they are. Sure we have our moments like any parent and child, but does she know what she is missing out on?

Some people would give anything, to be a mother. Sometimes mother nature can be cruel and it just doesn’t happen for some people, through no fault of their own. So I guess, as much as Mothers Day, is a day to acknowledge and celebrate it is also a day that can be a sad reminder, for some.

For my own children and my own mother, I think it is a time to reflect on my position, my role, as I am indeed both a daughter and a mother. Do I deserve to be celebrated? Do I celebrate my mother enough for all her hard work, love and dedication to me over the years? All I can say is that I have endeavoured to be both, a good daughter and a good mother. There have been times that I will have got it wrong, but always for the right reasons. My intentions will have always been good ones and in my failures as both daughter and mother, I always endeavour to be better and continue to try my best, not just on mothers day, but everyday.

For my husband, the year he bought me an umbrella. I returned the favour on Father’s day by buying him a watering can, just so I could stand under my umbrella, while he poured some water over it…… it had been a particularly dry year!!!

Tangled Minds

Uncompromising

What a joke, I hear you boke

it serves ryou right, sir, can I call you that?

your follies and and frolics, misguided? maybe – I think not

calculated and planned, by your own evil hand, you fall and beg for cover

not a thought, or beat, in your stone of a heart, who sir, can recover?

Clear it is, as clear as mud the tangled minds of many

strive as they may, to get through the day

One step, then another, a smile, a frown, some will fall down

the dirt, the mire, the bottomless pit of depravity, and desire

for all that you bring, and all that you are, sir,

uncompromising abomination for the day of your creation

vomit you must, the lies and mistrust

a penance to pay – on reckoning day

hearts will sing, when the toll rings and brings the beast to bare,

afraid? not? fear now, it’s all you’ve got, so cling with clenched fists

pray for your wits

praise too, the survivors, their baffling courage, never compromised!

© carrie sherbourne and Relay shun sips – itsjustnoteasy.com Blog, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Carrie sherbourne and itsjustnoteasy.com Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

International Women’s Day

celebrating women’s achievements……. Acknowledging and aspiring to effect gender equality?

Today, all over the world women are celebrating ‘International Women’s day’. It has only been 109 years, since the first one, and at that time it was for better pay and voting rights, more parity with the men of this world. Indeed there are many many women, celebrating and protesting all over the world about many inequalities or injustices that are still going on.

I, for one, thank god that I was born on this side of the world (in the west), rather than being born in the East. Not that injustices only happen in the Eastern part of the world, but the fact that you are born female there, can definitely have a severe disadvantage and detriment to rights and equality, more so than just equal pay.

I am not going to go through individual cases or scenarios of what ‘women, girls, females’ have to ‘put up with’. We all know, too well the injustices and fights that we have to endure because of the fact that we are indeed ‘female’.

In a previous blog I have spoken about Emmeline Pankhurst and her movement, the Suffragettes, Vera Twomey and her quest as a mother to fight for the right for her child to have medicinal cannabis, to reduce her seizures and enhance her quality of life. There are many great women whom I admire for their sheer determination to overcome the injustices and powers of men. What about Malalal Yousafzai, the courage that girl had, to fight for the rights of girls to have an education. Edith Eger, an Auschwitz survivor who held on to the words her mother had said to her, minutes prior to their separation, ‘They can never take what is in your mind’. She chose to use her ‘mind’ to escape from the horrors she was subjected to.

Joan of Arc, a crusader, a woman who was key in turning the tide in the 100 years war and was later canonized as a saint. Mother Theresa, Erin Brokovich, , Rosa Parks, to name but a few more – strong women who despite adversity, effected change.

I am a mother, and have been to a total of 14 children (biological and non biological). Some of them were with me for a short time, others a much longer time. I have been consistently parenting 5 girls for the past 28 years to the present day. My message to them, and my parenting to them, has been to try to make them strong independent women. Why? Because they have to leave home and go into the world and stand on their own two feet. They have to form relationships, outside of the home, whether it is at school or at work. They will meet partners and may be become mothers themselves (2 already have). They will face challenges, up’s, down’s and injustices along the way and when they do, I want them to be able to face their challenge, to deal with it and to move on from it, whatever it may be. I also want them to be able to stand up for them selves and for others who are been treated unjustly. I want them to have a good sense of self and a good sense of right and wrong and fight for it and do whatever it takes, to make a difference. I want them to value themselves, to demonstrate and role model that value, that self worth to their own off spring or to others. Ultimately, I want them to be happy.

At the end of the day there is one thing women can do which men cannot and that is to carry a baby, and no matter what, that primal bond is unique and unbreakable. Yes we can love equally, care for a child equally, but whether the parenting is good, bad or indifferent, something more is created in the carrying of the child that only a mother can feel, but not adequately explain. We give birth to both male and female, and me personally, I want them to be equal, in their rights. No question about it and if they are being treated ‘differently’ I absolutely would want them to stand up and shout out and be proud of the fact that they are doing so. They need to Relay what they want, Shun and ship what they don’t…. It may not be easy, it may seem impossible, but nothing will be done if you do not try!

To all the females out there who are striving to achieve and to ‘do’, keep achieving and keep doing, because at the end of the day you are absolutely worth it!

Sent to Coventry!

There is a term ‘ SENT to Coventry’ which ultimatey means to ostracise, ignore and shun them….

My relationship with Coventry however, is a positive one. Even though I don’t live there anymore, and haven’t for 20 years, I hold it dear in my heart.

Famous people you may have heard of are The specials who sang ghost town, Paul king who sang love and pride, Mo molam grew up here and was an integral part of the good Friday agreement and peace process in northern Ireland and of course good old Lady Godiva who rode around the streets of Coventry, naked on a horse, in protest against an oppressive tax imposed by her husband… what a noble woman she was !

Well I’m here on a visit at the moment as I have a daughter who lives nearby. It was planned months ago, before the beast from the east was a turn of phrase, synonymous with something awful !!

As I boarded my Ryan air flight on Tuesday, it was cold but sunny, no snow. As we landed in Birmingham, it was cold but sunny and no snow…. it’s now Friday and though there is a bit of snow, and it’s still cold, I’m having a great time being served food, including bread, in the comfort of my Hotel.

Back home there is a blizzard. The rest of my family are snowed in. The pipes have froze over. The shops are closed. There is no bread and they are in lockdown!!

I have met up with friends, had some laughs, shopped, swam in the pool and enjoyed the heat of the sauna…..

I have face time with my family snowed in at home and feel awful for them but, I’m also delighted I’m not there in the cold with no water to shower or flush the toilet !! It’s seems the beast of being ‘sent to Coventry’ is no way near as bad as the best from the east that has landed in my home in Ireland…

There it really does look like a ghost town. Here I still have love and pride for my roots…. I’m enjoying the peace but have no intention of riding on a horse naked…… not in this weather anyway !!

Stay warm, stay safe and do yourself a favour….. get sent to Coventry next time 😁😁😁

#coventry #ladygodiva # thespecials # Paulking # beastfromtheeast #bread #snow #peace #momolam #staysafe

Battles for life

Warm and cosy in my room,

I spy the waves that crash and boom.

The sky is calm, the sun goes down,

A light to guide, but still they drown

The sounds of silence and it makes me tense,

‘I’m okay’, is no defence!

For when it comes, and there is no ‘if’

It’s here right now, at the edge of a cliff.

Hanging on, to breath in air,

But look around, it’s gruesome there.

The shots, the blasts, the pain and blood,

A conflict of war of men in hoods.

I want to scream ‘stop it now’,

Instead my head, in shame, will bow.

The screams, the tears, on terrified faces

Run for cover, in dangerous places.

Many will come to a fateful end,

Of gunshots and drowning and we’ll all pretend,

It’s not us, but them, who are to blame,

But aren’t we one and all the same?

Sweep the doorways, keep them clear,

More than rubbish may appear.

It could be you, them or I,

That huddles inside, and prays to the sky,

To help us out from the savage cold,

Of unimagined stories, never to be told.

The ravages of man, lay waste to this land,

Destroy and demolish without reprimand.

The comfort of my room, yes cosy and warm,

But some welcome death, in the face of the storm.

How horrid that is, I can’t comprehend,

It makes me fell sad, I cannot pretend.

Stop all these wars and battles for life,

No good will pass in the in the wake of strife,

Only sorrow and anguish, contention and pain,

When all is said, there is no gain !

Moments of joy

sometimes when things look grey….. the love of a child will brighten your day

Here the children come to play
Splashing about in puddles today
They laugh and squeal, it looks such fun
Even when they fall on their bum!
Nanny, Nanny, come have a go
How can I resist and tell them no!
In for a penny, in for a pound
I love to hear their laughing sound
So they are young, not a care in the world
Making me feel, like a small little girl
The pleasure in life, not money and wealth
But small moments of joy, god fun and good health
The children will teach us, what really matters
As we scream with excitement like silly mad hatters
Time to go in and get some cakes
Followed by ice-cream and jelly snakes
Then plonk of the sofa and watch some T.V
I cuddle them and they cuddle me!

Compromise

href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/compromise/”>Compromise

Sing the song so sweet, to calm

Dispel the fear of the shrill alarm

Slow down the haste of wanton greed

Wipe your Brow, let work succeed

Claw out the back of the unsure thoughts

Let them fly and don’t get caught

In thinking that they’re not good or wise

Somewhere inbetween is the compromise

Feel the fear and stomp right through it

Look up to the stars, not down in the pit

For all that you are is much more than you think

Keep moving forward and you’ll never sink,

There are always choices, you’ll be surprised

How easy things can be if you compromise

The norm

beauty comes in many forms, love is what will conquer all. look beyond the trees in the wood, judge with your heart and all will be good.

Spring is here and it makes me smile,
I can go outside and stay a while.
If the sun is bright and the day is long,
I’ll look for the buds, and there’s more than one!
Up they’ll pop, in colourful shapes,
And open up wide as their fragrance escapes.
Dancing a dance in the soft spring breeze,
Anything stronger, some will fall to their knees,
Others may break, too weak to bounce back and more will flourish, they just have the knack.
They have resilience to survive every storm,
That’s just their way, that is their norm.
The norm for me is to wait inside,
There is no escape, I only can hide.
I wake and wait, each new day
And hope somehow you’ll find a way,
To come and find me, to lead me out,
From the place I’m left in, and hear me shout.
Cos in my mind are all the words,
But life ouside seems scarily absurd.
It makes me frightened, frustrated and small,
That you don’t understand, how you can help at all.
If only you saw beyond my stims,
A new life for me could truly begin.
I am not stupid, damaged or mad,
I am just a boy who feels quite sad.
Cos in my heart, my body and mind,
I’m the same as you, be we just have to find
A way for me to break outside
A way for you to swim against the tide.
I know you can see me, I’m not so dumb,
I know my autism can make you run.
I’ll weather the storms like the new spring flowers,
I’ve been waiting for years, months and hours.
The resilience I have, gives me strength to endure,
Until we find the right time to ‘open the door’.

Battered and bruised

when torment comes and all seems black, dig deeper within, you can claw back. For what is power, but given or taken. You can get out, don’t be mistaken. For you are strong, you’ll find the Will, to take your power when you’ve had your fill.

Behind the smile and the brushing it off,
A blot on the heart that won’t shake off.
I know it’s still pumping and flowing with blood
But it’s really not working,just as it should.
The stupid, the crazy the pushing around
Get it excited as it starts to pound.
It sounds like a drumroll being bashed with a stick,
I hope it stops, and I hope it’s real quick.
The power you have contorts my mind,
Making fantasies of death,seem so very kind.
Battered and bruised you done your best,
To control the girl, you loved more than the rest.
If this is love, then hatred I’ll take
Co’s the smile on my face, is really all fake.
I haven’t the strength, it’s nearly all gone
to pull me out, so I just carry on.
The pit of my stomach is swirling with rage,
An endangered species locked in a cage.
How can you love me, and treat me so?
How can I stay, not let you go?
Love is the word that binds us together,
Please dear lord, please not forever.
Sometime, I know, I have to get out.
Enough is enough is what I will shout.
Love, you can keep it, I’ll take my chances
I’ll learn to smile without the pretences
And Carry on and begin again, but not with you my bullying friend.
You’ll never find me, to hurt me again,
This love for you will continue to wain.
I will be strong, as strong as an ox
while you will hunt like the savage fox.
Your ugly inside is a cruel disguise,
Of the facade of the man on the outside!

My mind

among the hours, days and years, which parts of you will disappear ?

The leaves were glistening like diamonds swaying in the breeze
The sound of the quiet bombarding my ears
No one to comfort or help my distress
No one to praise, scold or impress
The sun was moving at slow speed to the west
Falling deeper into darkness my mind I confess
For what have I now when all have gone
Just the sound of the birds’ sweet song?
Is that enough to carry me through when all day long I yearn for you
So swiftly you went, gods speed I would say
My hair once so dark now silvery grey
But what happened before me I hardly can tell my mind, you see, doesn’t remember that well
I know there was love and kindness too
But oh how I I wish I remembered you
I look in the mirror, a person I see,but please won’t you tell,where can I find me ?