1. My birth date… I didn’t choose to be born but I’m certain I have choices in how I live.
2. One day I will die, of that I am certain… I just hope it’s a long long way off and i hope its natural causes!
3. I am certain I could have done much better in school and college if i had studied more, but I was always happy to just pass… Life has to have balance…. And i’m happy to be average….
4. I am cerain that night will follow day just as sure that we will experience good times and bad times…. There’s no stopping it.
5. I’m certain that no one knows everything…. Even if they think they do. There’s an infinite amount of things to know and learn and that’s marvellous.
6. I’m certain of the love and commitment I have for my family. It doesn’t stop me however, taking time to still be ‘me’ .
7. Im certain that wars are rooted in mans power and greed.
8. I’m certain that I can only live and experience my life, no body elses.
9. Im certain that little things bring me joy.. A beautiful flower in a garden. A walk in the forest. The sound and sight of the sea. The taste of sweetness, the feel of my gran children’s arms around me and the sight of people being kind and compassionate.
10. I’m certain that I am uncertain about how today will end and about the future but, I am certain I will face and embrace it….
Some are born with more than others, but I feel, as we age we grow more wise.
A poem I wrote a while back for young girls/women is, I think, an example of wisdom.
This Body…
Don’t be fooled by this body so slim and so lean Caressing the contours Having boys wet dreams These arms are so strong Though feeble they look And the breasts are more Worthy, than for you just to suck These legs are so shapely, smooth and long But will only be open for who I say, belong
Do not assume that it’s yours for the taking This body of mine, took years in the making It stretched and it grew, filled out and amazed the strength that it carried in the blood and the veins This body of mine one day will grow old The breasts you desire will sag I am told The legs long and shapely, may fill more with fat I cannot be fairer or clearer than that
So do not be fooled by this body of mine Instead you must love what is there in my mind For there you will find the truth, I confess The sexy, the funny, the intelligent prowess My mind is the thing you must first desire For my body will only, set yours on fire And too, one day yours will fail to perform So for me I make sure, it is you I adore The body is nothing but bones and mere flesh But the mind you see is where we become enmeshed A wondrous source of beauty and wit It’s here where the fire of desire should be lit For it will grow sharper and lead us the way To a future together in all that we say The body of course, will bring pleasure and joy But do not be fooled or distracted, dear boy If you’re up for the challenge, then of course let’s begin Soon we will know which one shall win The pressure is on, you must decide But do not no fear, there is no place to hide
I need to live, healthily to the age of 100 at least!
I am very easily bored and very curious… This combination gives me ants in my pants…
What worries me most, apart from the usual health and safety of family, is that I won’t live long enough to see and do all the things I do not yet know exactly what it is that I want to see and do…. I just know i dont want to stand still….
I want to taste food I’ve never heard of… Walk paths I’ve never trodden, see sunsets and sunrises in places I only dream of.
I want to not sit still, or be tamed or claimed and walk freely, unburdened and grateful for the blessing of each new day.
I want to hear the genuine laughter of the people who think themselves poor. Who have nothing but hope and love to give. I want to dance barefoot with them in the sand and let them understand that they are richer than the richest people who measure their wealth by the material things they own and by the size of their bank balance……
My fear for the future is that life passes me by…..
The most delicious thing I have ever eaten was a variety of tastes from all the members of my family, that was sat around the table, each vying for attention, giving their opinions and each throwing in their two penneth worth and showing me how to eat my humble pie, listen, apologise and learn from my own mistakes….
This is when I knew for sure that they knew they had freedom to express their feelings and views…. Mother is not always right, even if her heart is in the right place….
The most delicious thing I have ever eaten was a variety of tastes from all the members of my family, that was sat around the table, each vying for attention, giving their opinions and each throwing in their two penneth worth and showing me how to eat my humble pie, listen, apologise and learn from my own mistakes….
This is when I knew for sure that they knew they had freedom to express their feelings and views…. Mother is not always right, even if her heart is in the right place….
For all the women who are mothers, remember to be kind to yourself…..
Image – Authors own…
On this side of the Atlantic it is Mother’s Day today. It is a day set aside in the year to show your appreciation, love and gratitude…… or not.
Not all are necessarily ‘good mothers’. Some women long to be a mother, but nature has taken away their chance to be one, and so Mothers day can be a torturous reminder of what they are missing out on. The rest fall somewhere in between, including me.
I have been a mother for 34 years. I have been a foster mother for 19 years and I have been a grandmother for 15 years.
For those of us in between, I guess we hope to be ‘good enough’ mothers.
I remember my journey, the day I first became a mother on the 21st April 1989. I felt that I was now complete and my world was right there in my arms as I cradled my newborn baby girl.
From that moment my life changed completely. What went before just didn’t exist and paled into insignificance, and what lay ahead was to be an adventure of discovery.
As my baby grew and developed, so did I. As she gained new skills, so did I. When she hurt herself, I felt pain. When she achieved the slightest thing, I was her champion. When she cried or sulked or appeared to be in any sort of danger, I was filled with anxiety. I was like a lioness, her protector.
When I went back to work, I felt guilty. A mothers guilt is hard to shake off. You have to balance it with the benefits of what going to work means for your family and try to convince yourself, that it is all for the best.
Leaving your child with a child minder, or at a creche, or play school, while you go to work, builds their social skills and they learn that the separation is temporary, and so the attachment, you hope, it a secure one.
No matter what though and no matter how old they get, you often ask, ‘am I good enough, did I do enough, was I kind enough, firm enough, affectionate enough etc etc. As mothers, we always question ourselves. In being mothers, we often lose ourselves.
It is a hard and arduous task to be a ‘perfect’ mother and I don’t think any of us ever feel that we are.
If we are mothers, then we are also daughters and some will have great relationships with their mothers, some will have strained relationships and some will not really know their mothers at all and be brought up with adoptive mothers, foster mothers etc.
Each relationship will have their ups and downs, their highs and lows, their fall ins and fall outs. That is just human nature, because none of us are perfect and we each, as mothers and daughters, have to navigate our way in our mother daughter relationships.
Like every relationship, it has its strenghts and it has its weak spots. We want to be listened to and we want to be heard (mothers and children). As a mother I have often said to my many children and foster children ‘I am a person’. I think, sometimes, they forget that and just see you as their mother.
As I watch my children, who have their own children, I see their great love, devotion and skills that they have in their ‘mothering’ and I see and hear when they question themselves, ‘if they are good enough’.
Many children (young and grown up) are without their mothers, as they have passed away. This day, is a sad day for them and a reminder of what they are missing out on.
For all the doubters asking ‘am I good enough’, if you are being the best that you can be, give the best that you can give in trying to be the best mother that you can be, then yes, absolutely, you are good enough.
And remember, a mother is still ‘a person’ and like all people, make mistakes, so go easy on yourself and be kind to yourself.
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