What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time?
I like to get lost….painting and creating. I left school at 16 but my art teacher would tell me that my painting was rubbish and messy.
I didnt paint a picture again until about 6 or 8 years ago, in my early 50’s but first I began by painting and decoupaging furniture.
It was then I realised that it wasnt necessarily the outcome, but the process of squeezing the paint from its tube, dipping the brush into it and just getting lost and so focussed at the same time.
It is like gojng down a rabbit hole on an adventure and it is fun and therapeutic.
I have large gaps inbetween painting/creating due to other demands on life but when im in the mood or have time for it, it totally takes me over !
So if your art teacher tells you that your work is rubbish, just carry on and enjoy the process…
I love a good daily prompt to get the mind focussed and thinking. So what does make a good leader?
Is it a list? if so, can it be applied generally across the board to all and sundry? let’s see:
Edward de Bono said the Blue hat, from his six thinking hats, is a good leader. The blue hat is, and I quote ” used to manage the thinking process. It’s the control mechanism that ensures the six thinking hat guidelines are observed……
What are the other hats I hear you ask. In summary they are:
White Hat – collects the facts and only the facts.
Yellow Hat – symbolises optimism and brightness, ie. explores the positives and benefits.
Black hat – The risk management hat. Spots the difficulties and risks.
The red hat – Feelings, intuition, hunches, likes and dislikes,
The Green hat – focuses on creativity, possibilities, alternatives. This hat sees opportunities to explore new concepts.
So collectively, in the board room we effectively could do with a person to wear each hat and put their thoughts, feelings and ideas to the blue hat, or the blue hat must ensure that he has covered the thinking processes of the other hats if he is to make a decision all by himself/herself.
Lets test this with Winnie the Pooh. When there is a problem it is usually to him that most of the other creatures go. He usually responds with optimism, consideration and empathy. He is definitely a problem soother but is that enough to lead?
What about Christopher Robin, the only human amongst the creatures. He generally is the one that the animals go to when they have a BIG problem. He is most certainly, more often than not, a problem solver.
What about the ‘what I say goes’ type of leader. The organizer, the planner, the hit the ground running, even if other’s do not necessarily agree…mmmmmm, Rabbit is a bit like that, wouldn’t you say? Me too sometimes! yikes, my bad!!
Do we need a mentor to lead, the knowledgeable one. The one with the facts, like Owl. He reads a lot and knows a lot. Surely he can show them all the way?
and then there is Kanga, the steady, nurturing, caring, understanding creature. Can she lead on that alone or does she need the knowledge, the planning, the organisation, the optimism and consideration of all the facts?
What about courage, tenacity, honesty, ability to listen but also plough on in the face of adversity? Does a good leader need to step back, observe, listen, delegate, give responsibility to, his team, his friends, his family, whatever it is he/she is supposed to be leading?
I think a good leader is all the above, a person who knows that they cannot do it by themselves, for that is just ego. They must trust others, support others, allow others to contribute at the table, and understand that in order to lead you must also stand back.
Now the only other thing to consider is in terms of leadership, is to know that not all leaders are necessarily good, or have good intentions for the greater good of others. Some leaders are driven by greed, power, control and dominance.
Watch any Marvel movie, watch any piece of history, recent, or otherwise, and you will see what consequences have been as a result of poor or insincere leadership.
So, like in the world of the 100 acre wood, lets be a Winnie the Pooh & gang kind of leader.
Well, I guess that would be a nun I had in my school. I had just moved from the UK to Ireland and was 14.
She took an instant dislike to me. She said “we didn’t ask to have you English people in our school and would be more than delighted to see the back of you”….
Also that i was “a savage in the jungle and would amount to nothing”……just delightful for a nun.
I learned:
Don’t take people in uniform at face value or too seriously. Don’t believe they took the Oath, with good intentions, necessarily.
Be understanding of difference.
Not to be racist/discriminatory.
Treat people with kindness and understanding.
Strive to do the best that I could in all that I do.
Be a good person. (Or good enough)
Religion is a man made rule book and set of beliefs, not necessarily followed by those who preach it.
Again, be a good enough person.
Go visit the jungle before I die.
I guess she gave me a challenge, and I became more than she could ever predict!
So lately I have been doing some ‘exercise’ routines around the house. About to enter into my 6th decade, I want to go in fit and strong and these days, what better way to motivate and inspire, perhaps, is through tiktok…. New age fandangos!
So I have been uploading my little demo routines and my children of course, quite understandably, mortified. I say with a smile on my face and think, payback for their teenage years (I am joking of course, they were all little darlings, cough cough).
So, one of my daughters was on her phone and my tik tok came up and she apparently said ‘Oh god, what is nanny at now’ and my grandchildren rushed over to see, what indeed, I was up to now.
Charlie, my grandaughter, who is 8, quickly jumped to my defence and said to her mother, and I quote “would you rather have a lazy old weak mum or a fit, strong cool mum?”
I laughed and laughed and laughed and so did my daughter. So rock on Charlie, you have given nanny THE best compliment and for you, I strive to remain cool!
I fluctuate between what I believe when it comes to the question “do you believe in fate/destiny”.
When I was younger I think I believed we were put here for a reason, and it was up to us to discover what the reason was and wherever we ended up, would be the answer, would be our fate, our destiny.
For example, having a certain plan for the day, and the day goes completely astray and looks nothing like how it was supposed to look, but by the end of the day, wherever and whatever has occurred, was meant to be. A lesson to be learned, or a new path laid out to show us the way.
The Robert Frost poem, ‘The road not taken’, has been interpreted by many and thought to be a metaphor to generalise life. However, perhaps he wrote it just because he came to a fork in the road and thought, “Hmmm, I wonder if I go down this road, where it will lead”. A road of discovery, of now knowing where it lead, and that is that.
The many trials and tribulations of life can drive us to the depths of despair or the heights of euphoria. From them, we learn a lot, usually about ourselves and how we responded to them. Highs can become like a drug and we seek it more and more and it can be addictive. Whereas lows, can bring us down, make us avoidant, or we may retreat, hibernate for a while.
Which ever scenario it is, we respond. So is the response a matter of fate or a matter of fact?
Is the drug of the high, whether it’s in a successful capacity or a damaging capacity, where our fate, our destiny, lies?
Are some people fated to be successful and rich because the universe says so, or is it because they are driven and worked hard? Is is because of their passion, their desire, their innate determination and tenacity? Billions of people work hard every day, but are not rich and may feel they are not successful.
Does the universe decide, well this is your fate because of the set of circumstances they are in. Perhaps they didn’t have the same opportunity as others, but none the less, work just as hard. Perhaps they are born in a poorer country that measures success in a different way to other countries.
Likewise if their drug, is literally a class A drug, or alcohol dependency, or gambling addiction, or sex addiction etc etc does that mean they are here, because that is their destiny, that is their fate?
As for the lows, the knocks, the blows that we inevitably have to accept as part of life, because that is life, it can harden people, it can soften people, it can open the minds of people, it can close the minds of people, because people have their own unique code and personality. They have their own internal set of skills to navigate and deal with life. Their own resilliences and coping mechanisms. So is that fate or personality?
Along this journey, we interact with people and places. Circumstances change and we have to adapt. Is this fate? Is this where we were meant to be in the first place, is this trial or tribulation a necessary thing to take us to this place? to this person? Perhaps. There is no knowing, is there?
I think it is a romantic notion. People often think of their relationships when they think of fate or destiny. We can make up answers to everything. We just have to speak it. Convince ourselves. Convince others. Influence others and believe that yes, it is fate.
Or, we can sit back and think i’m here because this is where I am choosing to be. On the journey, we meet people by chance. They may become an acquaintance, they may become a lot more than that, but we met them by chance. After that chance meeting, we make a choice as to what kind of relationship it will be.
We take a step in the dark sometimes, a leap of faith and hope for the best. Hope is just hope, it’s a desire, an expectation, something internal. The desire and expectation may be realised, or not. So does that mean it is down to fate or destiny? There is no way of categorically answering that question.
All we have is our own belief, our own opinion, and that is fine, we are entitled to have our beliefs and our opinions.
I have used that word before. I have had good and bad relationships. I have moved from house to house, country to country. I have met people by chance and chose to keep some close to me. I have learned a lot about myself along the way. My journey is not over. I can make connections of certain coincidences and say ‘it is fate’ and at that time I believe it to be so, but that doesn’t mean, it is the final destiny, because it can change.
There is one thing for sure and that it everything is certain to keep changing and that is all of our destiny’s.
1. My birth date… I didn’t choose to be born but I’m certain I have choices in how I live.
2. One day I will die, of that I am certain… I just hope it’s a long long way off and i hope its natural causes!
3. I am certain I could have done much better in school and college if i had studied more, but I was always happy to just pass… Life has to have balance…. And i’m happy to be average….
4. I am cerain that night will follow day just as sure that we will experience good times and bad times…. There’s no stopping it.
5. I’m certain that no one knows everything…. Even if they think they do. There’s an infinite amount of things to know and learn and that’s marvellous.
6. I’m certain of the love and commitment I have for my family. It doesn’t stop me however, taking time to still be ‘me’ .
7. Im certain that wars are rooted in mans power and greed.
8. I’m certain that I can only live and experience my life, no body elses.
9. Im certain that little things bring me joy.. A beautiful flower in a garden. A walk in the forest. The sound and sight of the sea. The taste of sweetness, the feel of my gran children’s arms around me and the sight of people being kind and compassionate.
10. I’m certain that I am uncertain about how today will end and about the future but, I am certain I will face and embrace it….
Some are born with more than others, but I feel, as we age we grow more wise.
A poem I wrote a while back for young girls/women is, I think, an example of wisdom.
This Body…
Don’t be fooled by this body so slim and so lean Caressing the contours Having boys wet dreams These arms are so strong Though feeble they look And the breasts are more Worthy, than for you just to suck These legs are so shapely, smooth and long But will only be open for who I say, belong
Do not assume that it’s yours for the taking This body of mine, took years in the making It stretched and it grew, filled out and amazed the strength that it carried in the blood and the veins This body of mine one day will grow old The breasts you desire will sag I am told The legs long and shapely, may fill more with fat I cannot be fairer or clearer than that
So do not be fooled by this body of mine Instead you must love what is there in my mind For there you will find the truth, I confess The sexy, the funny, the intelligent prowess My mind is the thing you must first desire For my body will only, set yours on fire And too, one day yours will fail to perform So for me I make sure, it is you I adore The body is nothing but bones and mere flesh But the mind you see is where we become enmeshed A wondrous source of beauty and wit It’s here where the fire of desire should be lit For it will grow sharper and lead us the way To a future together in all that we say The body of course, will bring pleasure and joy But do not be fooled or distracted, dear boy If you’re up for the challenge, then of course let’s begin Soon we will know which one shall win The pressure is on, you must decide But do not no fear, there is no place to hide
I need to live, healthily to the age of 100 at least!
I am very easily bored and very curious… This combination gives me ants in my pants…
What worries me most, apart from the usual health and safety of family, is that I won’t live long enough to see and do all the things I do not yet know exactly what it is that I want to see and do…. I just know i dont want to stand still….
I want to taste food I’ve never heard of… Walk paths I’ve never trodden, see sunsets and sunrises in places I only dream of.
I want to not sit still, or be tamed or claimed and walk freely, unburdened and grateful for the blessing of each new day.
I want to hear the genuine laughter of the people who think themselves poor. Who have nothing but hope and love to give. I want to dance barefoot with them in the sand and let them understand that they are richer than the richest people who measure their wealth by the material things they own and by the size of their bank balance……
My fear for the future is that life passes me by…..
What’s the most delicious thing you’ve ever eaten?
The most delicious thing I have ever eaten was a variety of tastes from all the members of my family, that was sat around the table, each vying for attention, giving their opinions and each throwing in their two penneth worth and showing me how to eat my humble pie, listen, apologise and learn from my own mistakes….
This is when I knew for sure that they knew they had freedom to express their feelings and views…. Mother is not always right, even if her heart is in the right place….
Relay shun ships 
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