I first became a mother (almost) 29 years ago and I remember being so excited and proud on my very first mother’s day. I also happened to have be born on mother’s day, and was a great source of joy to my own parents, having been preceded by two boys, my wonderful brothers. I remember us being excited when we were young and cheerfully doing our best in ensuring she ‘take it easy’ and we would make her breakfast in bed. This often entailed making a right mess in the process, but our intentions were good.
I remember my own children bringing me the same wonders, such as burnt toast, cold tea and a bunch of wonderful smiles to go with their gifts of flowers, chocolates and one time in particular I remember receiving ‘an umbrella’. I gave my husband and a confused glance. He duly explained that when he got to the supermarket the flowers were all gone, and with what money he had in his pocket, he had enough for an umbrella, as they were on offer! Strange gift, but it did of course come in useful with our very showery weather.
The purpose of the day is to celebrate and spend some time, by way of saying thank you and I love you and without you, I wouldn’t be here. It is a gesture of appreciation. Of course, it is not always possible to spend time, as children often do not live near their mothers, once they are grown up and have families of their own, so a card or a phone call or gift will be received to acknowledge the day.
For some, it may be a time to ponder. Some mothers do not have their children living with them. Some children may have ‘lost’ their mother and vice versa. I have two children, who on mothers day, buy me gifts and cards and wish me happy mothers day, but I am not their real mum, I am their foster mum. On this day, I always wonder how they must feel. It must be a significant reminder to them and they must wonder about their ‘real’ mum. My heart always breaks a little bit more for them on mothers day and other children in the same position. I wonder about her too, does she think about them on this day? Does she realise what beautiful children they are, how good and well adjusted they are. Sure we have our moments like any parent and child, but does she know what she is missing out on?
Some people would give anything, to be a mother. Sometimes mother nature can be cruel and it just doesn’t happen for some people, through no fault of their own. So I guess, as much as Mothers Day, is a day to acknowledge and celebrate it is also a day that can be a sad reminder, for some.
For my own children and my own mother, I think it is a time to reflect on my position, my role, as I am indeed both a daughter and a mother. Do I deserve to be celebrated? Do I celebrate my mother enough for all her hard work, love and dedication to me over the years? All I can say is that I have endeavoured to be both, a good daughter and a good mother. There have been times that I will have got it wrong, but always for the right reasons. My intentions will have always been good ones and in my failures as both daughter and mother, I always endeavour to be better and continue to try my best, not just on mothers day, but everyday.
For my husband, the year he bought me an umbrella. I returned the favour on Father’s day by buying him a watering can, just so I could stand under my umbrella, while he poured some water over it…… it had been a particularly dry year!!!