I first heard this ‘saying’ in a psychology lecture many years ago and it really resonated with me, and so I stole it and used it for title of my blog, Itsjustnoteasy.com.
We can imagine what life should look like in our minds. These days more and more people call it ‘manifestation’. It’s the new (ish) ‘buzzword’. I really don’t like that overused turn on phrase either!
From a young age, when I was a girl, I had my ‘plan’. Meet a boy, be engaged by age 18, married by 19 and have a baby by 20. Easy peasy, when you are a 10 year old girl and 18 is 100 years away.
The thing is, I was engaged at 18. Definitely to the wrong fella, who thought being macho meant pushing and knocking me about when he was drunk. By 19 and a half I got wise and left him. Falling in love was easy. Loving someone who you know is bad for you and deciding to leave is not easy, but I did it.
Two years later I found myself engaged again and two years after that, when I was 23, we got married. Love was a slow burner for me, (after the previous ‘Love’, I felt other things were more important, like friendship and respect for instance. We got on well and I was deeply fond of him and so I grew to love him.
At 24 I had my baby. My life was complete. I felt complete.
Then life throws you a curveball and all is not really that rosey in the garden after all. The cracks begin to show, until one day you realise, it’s really not working. We both wanted different things I guess. We both saw ‘marriage’ differently. Deciding to end it was definitely not easy. By 26 I was getting divorced.
Relationships are hard work. Not just with our partners but with family members, work colleagues, teachers, students, you name it, they can be good, bad and indifferent, sometimes all at the same time.
So what gets in the way of this simple life? What makes it difficult? You, me, health, work, weather, intellect, emotion, awareness, the government, communication, motivation, deprivation, ruthlessness, stubbornness, anxiety, gentleness, fragileness ? The list could go on and on and on.
One or more or all of the above gets in the way of life being simple, so therefore, it’s just not easy…. not all of the time….. and there is no way that it can be….unless you are a hermit.
Even then, as much as I enjoy my own company and being on my own, doing my own thing, no one to irritate me, mess up the house, make unpleasant noises in the bathroom, or bedroom, after a skinful of drink, I still need interaction with people. We all do, don’t we?
We are social beings and once we are done with the busy, the hectic, the demanding and the running on autopilot, working, parenting, caring, doing for others, we may find ourselves alone, even with a partner, one can feel alone.
You see, when the busy stops, the doing, the caring, parenting, working etc, you think, what now? You’ve talked the talk. Walked the walk, a thousand million times and now its just you, or you two and often times there is a big blank space that wasn’t there before, or perhaps it was but you just didn’t notice.
So now you think, and think and think and live in your head. So think about you, just you, What do YOU want to do?
The thing is, do something, anything. Something different, something new. Something you are afraid to do. Something that terrifies you. Just do something to take you out of your head, and do the ‘something’ head on. What does it matter if it doesn’t work out. The thing is, it just might.
The thing is, over the course of our lives we have evolved many many times. From infant to toddler to teen to adult and none of it was easy! Well adulting doesn’t stop at 18 or 21. It keeps evolving, and we owe it to ourselves to keep going, keep stepping into the next stage, simple or not, easy or not, but do it.
There will be people and places we meet along the way that we may not ever have met, had we not taken that step. Opportunities we may have missed. Growth we may have stunted, had we not taken a new step in a new direction.
So yes, life is simple, it just not easy, and I don’t think it was ever designed to be. So go grab life by the horns, enjoy the ride, keep courage in your breast pocket and remember, it may not be easy, but it is as simple as that!
